This Kid REALLY Didn't Want To Go To Church....

PLAIN CITY, Utah -

Police in Utah say a 7-year-old boy led officers on a car chase in an effort to avoid going to church.

Dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly on Sunday morning. Weber County Sheriff’s Capt. Klint Anderson says one witness said the boy drove through a stop sign.

Anderson says two deputies caught up with the boy and tried unsuccessfully to stop the Dodge Intrepid in an area about 45 miles north of Salt Lake City. The car reached 40 mph before the boy stopped in a driveway and ran inside a home.

Anderson says when the boy’s father later confronted him, the boy said he didn’t want to go to church. The boy is too young to prosecute and no citations were issued, although police did urge the father to make his car keys more inaccessible to children.

I know I tried to fake an illness to skip church once back when I was a kid...but this boy takes it to a whole new level. I'm just amazed he got the car started, and drove it home and into the garage without hitting anything...remember, he's 7! You gotta love the kid's initiative, though, right?

(ht to Josh Griffin's great ministy blog, More Than Dodgeball)

Speak To Me...

I've often been asked how I can come up with stuff to write about every day. Basically, it's normally not that hard for me...I just do my daily Bible reading, highlight a few verses that stand out to me, and just put down some quick thoughts on what I read. Sometimes it's a theme that I can flesh out, and sometimes it takes reading it in a few different translations until I find something that speaks to me. No matter what, I try to keep reading until I feel I've heard from Him.

Sometimes, though, He just speaks to me as I read...like today:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

(Romans 7:15, NIV)

Keep in mind, this is Paul talking. Yep, the same Paul we look up to as one of the greatest preachers in history had trouble with sin and temptation, just like we do. Sometimes it's easy to get buried in guilt and shame and think that being a Christ-Follower just isn't worth the effort. Don't give in to that lie...it's not that we fell, it that we get back up and try again.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

(Romans 8:25-26,NIV)

This one encourages me greatly. Hope and patience are hard to come by when you're sick....but I need to remember how much God has already blessed and taught me through this journey with my kidneys. It's also good to know that even when I don't know how to pray for someone or something, that God will hear me and know exactly what I'm talking about. I also love the word "groan". That, to me, signifies significant effort and it's nice to know on those days I'm struggling to get through, that He's right there pulling the load with me.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

(Romans 8:37-39, NIV)

To this, all I can say is just "Yes, thank you, and Amen!"

Here hoping you take the time to hear Him speak to you today.

Stuff I Miss: 10 Toys They Need To Bring Back...

Last night I went home from work a little early and arrived to find 15 different board games on our living room floor. The kids and my wife had proclaimed a family game night, so we got right down to business. We had a ball...but I don't think I won any of the games we played...hmmmmm.

Right before dinner, I took the kids up to the Dollar General store to get some chips and dip. The kids were looking at the toy aisle, and my son was checking out some green plastic "army men". I told him how much I enjoyed playing with them as a boy, so we decided to get a pack and bring them home to play with. Paige, Cade, and I set them up and probably played for a hour and a half and had a great time. They now want to make "game night" a weekly occurance. This got me thinking about some of the toys I loved as a kid, and how I wish I would have kept them to enjoy with my children. Here's 10 I could think of:


10. Slime - Oh, how I loved this toy. Not only did it come in a trash can, but the color and consistency was that of snot. Just imagine how a boy could gross out two sisters with that concoction! The worst part was you just couldn't get it off your hands, so you ran out of it in a hurry...but taking a glob in your palm then pretending to sneeze...oh, it was priceless!


9. The "Little People" Holiday Inn - I remember my grandfather giving each family one of these at Christmas. We played with this for years!! You had a little car to drive around in, and you could stay in the rooms, play in the pool or many other things. Most "Little People" were round, but the ones that came with this set were square. They had a little notch in their chin to hold trays of food (handy, since they had no arms), and they fit perfectly in the room's toilets, which we always found tons of fun, since we were so good at making those sounds... (check out the man in the lower right...and frankly, that big smile makes me a little uncomfortable...)

(Honestly, all I have to say is the word "toilet" to my six year old and she'll laugh for hours...so this would just be the best thing ever for her.)


8. Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots - Man, were these great. What kid didn't take great joy in seeing your opponent's head pop up into the air? Such a simple premise, but so much fun. Sadly, this toy led to more real fights later on...because I was a sore loser!


7. The Lemon Twist - another simple concept: Just a plastic lemon on the end of a tube, and you connected the other to your ankle. You had to spin the lemon with your one foot, and jump over the tube with you other. (It's harder than it sounds.) It got you active and helped your coordination, and we did this for hours in our driveway. We'd have contests on who could go the longest...again, I never won. (My coordination needed much, MUCH help as a boy....and yes, it was as bad as you think.)


6. Lite Brite - We could kill hours creating pictures with this. We not only loved doing the patterns that came with it, but creating our own designs. I remember sitting in the dark of our basement creating all kinds of new things. Back then, I thought I was making masterpieces, and that Lite Brite should buy my designs and put them in everyone's box....


5. Stretch Armstrong - Looking back now, I see this as a childhood stress-reliever. Tired of your little sister getting away with everything? Just take ol' Stretch and pull his arms and legs! Mad at the bully at school? Pretend Stretch is that kid and tie him in knots! Sadly, over time, even Stretch gets too stretched out and starts to slowly leak fluids and deflate. (*insert "Taps" here*)


4. Evel Knievel - This guy was the "man" back then. He had specials on TV jumping all kinds of things on his motorcycle. He had a comic book, action figures, and even a cartoon. Not only did he have this set (you used the red thing to crank up the wheel on the cycle, let it go to crash into anything), but he had all kinds of outfits and sets to explore worldwide. (Why Evel would go to the Arctic is beyond me...but they had a suit for that.) I adored this guy and wanted to be him...until I read about how many bones he broke doing those stunts over the years. (He's the world record holder with 35 different bones broken, if you're curious...and you know you are.)


3. The Six Million Dollar Man - Next to my Robin action figure, my favorite "doll" as a kid. This guy had it all: full action arm that could lift an engine (made of plastic, of course...still cool!), telescopic eye you could look through (nifty, yet creepy to look at him), and panels on the arms and legs you could take off to reveal the bionic parts so you could repair and "do surgery" on. (Oh yes...I was a little geek.)


2. Army Men - I talked about these earlier. The bazooka guy was my favorite...no, actually, it was the paratrooper, with that little plastic chute tied to him. You could fold it up on his back, then throw him into the air to float to the ground. Those guys were the coolest....


1. The Atari 2600 - the first mainstream home gaming system. I LOVED this thing. I could play for hours. Tank Battle, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Asteroids, and Pac-Man (pictured above). A while back I got one of those "classic" gaming disks of old Atari and Activision stuff for PlayStation. My son thought the graphics were terrible and they weren't any fun. Me? I waited until he went to bed, then I played "Pitfall" until my eyes were watering...

So, what did I miss? What toys did you love as a kid that they should bring back today? Let me know...

Can't Hold It In...

But if I say, “I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,”
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.

(Jeremiah 20:9, NIV)

I read a verse like this today, and it really convicts me. Sure, I talk about Jesus on almost a daily basis. People ask me how I'm doing, and I'll share that God's really been great and this and that...it's almost become a speech, I've given it so many times. I know that's talking about God...but not in the way the passage above means. Now, if you ask me about the catch DeWayne Wise of the Chicago White Sox made last Thursday afternoon in the top of the 9th inning to save Mark Buehrle's perfect game? That will get me excited...telling you how he just got in the game as a defensive replacement, the way he climbed the wall, lost the ball, then finally caught it barehanded while rolling to the ground...and how I scared all the nurses at dialysis by screaming "YES!" when he caught it. (They all thought I was having a stroke!) I'm even getting a little pumped thinking about it right now.

See, that's what Jeremiah talking about. He wants us to be so close to and filled with God that we just can't be quiet about it. He doesn't want us to use His name just to sound religious, but He wishes for us to live a life so passionate to bring others to his love, acceptance, and forgiveness that we just can't shut up about it. In my own life, I can think of so many times I've had opportunities to share Him with my friends and co-workers, but my pride always gets in the way. Instead of sharing what's on my heart, I worry about how they will react, and if they'll think I'm just one of those "religious freaks". These days, I think I'd take that tag as a badge of honor...

Here's hoping you can't be quiet about what God's doing in your life today.

Standing In The Gap...

A messenger came and told David, “The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom.”

Then David said to all his officials who were with him in Jerusalem, “Come! We must flee, or none of us will escape from Absalom. We must leave immediately, or he will move quickly to overtake us and bring ruin upon us and put the city to the sword.”
So the king set out, with all the people following him, and they halted at a place some distance away.

All his men marched past him, along with all the Kerethites and Pelethites; and all the six hundred Gittites who had accompanied him from Gath marched before the king.

The king said to Ittai the Gittite, “Why should you come along with us? Go back and stay with King Absalom. You are a foreigner, an exile from your homeland. You came only yesterday. And today shall I make you wander about with us, when I do not know where I am going? Go back, and take your countrymen. May kindness and faithfulness be with you.”

But Ittai replied to the king, “As surely as the Lord lives, and as my lord the king lives, wherever my lord the king may be, whether it means life or death, there will your servant be.”

David said to Ittai, “Go ahead, march on.” So Ittai the Gittite marched on with all his men and the families that were with him.

(2 Samuel 15:13-14, 17-22 NIV)

To bring you up to speed in this story if you're not familiar, David is now the king of Israel. One of his sons, Absalom, had killed another son, Amnon, for committing a horrific crime against his own sister. Absalom, fearing retribution from his dad, went into hiding and claimed to be dead already. After David grieved his sons, the truth was told that only Amnon was dead, and Absalom wanted to return to the kingdom. David showed grace and forgiveness and welcomed him back. Almost immediately, Absalom started scheming to take over the throne. Once the tide of support had turned in his favor, he planned to take over the palace. David got word of it, and he quickly left and went into exile, where the passage above picks up the story today.

The thing I want to focus on is Ittai and his people. They had no real connection to David or the kingdom. They were foreigners, and hadn't even been there very long. To make it relevant, imagine they just moved in next to David a few months ago, and then the neighborhood was taken over by a cruel dictator. As Ittai and the Gittites marched away from their homes and into exile with David, the king wondered why they were coming. "Why don't you just go back to your homeland? This isn't your war...you don't need to suffer with us.", David said. I love the response of Ittai:

“As surely as the Lord lives, and as my lord the king lives, wherever my lord the king may be, whether it means life or death, there will your servant be.”

Basically, Ittai said, "Look, I know we don't know each other that well and we haven't been particularly close to this point, but God wants me here with you, and I want to be here to support you, to stand in the gap with you, and to fight with you, even to death. I'm here for you, and I'm not leaving."

Wow...that's loyalty and a selfless love that can't come from ourselves. Through my divorce years ago and the last few months with my kidney problems, you really find out who's there for you. Sure, there is my family and close friends, who have been great support of all of us...but it's been humbling and encouraging to see who God has put in my path to help carry me through this valley in my life. I've reconnected with some very dear friends after years of falling away due to filling up life with other stuff. I've had acquaintances grow into deep, supporting relationships. I've even had many of you reading this blog, some I've never even met, that have allowed God to encourage me through your comments and notes, which blows me away every time. (It never ceases to amaze me that people actually read my drivel...but I digress..) Even just last night, someone I haven't spoken with in years felt led by God to come over and pray for me. She could have chalked it up to "bad pizza" or dismissed it as a crazy idea, but she was obedient, and I really needed what she had to share last night.

My point is, don't ever underestimate the value of standing in the gap with someone who's hurting. Whether you feel you're on the front lines with them, or if you feel like you really aren't doing much of anything to help at all, it makes a world of difference to that person who's hurting. If God nudges you to reach out to someone, do it...no matter how far it takes you out of your comfort zone. Your touch may just be the one that gets them through that day.

Here's hoping you stand with someone today.

Broken...

This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: “Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message.” So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel.

But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.

Then the word of the Lord came to me: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel."

(Jeremiah 18:1-6, NIV)

This one really hits close to home today. Just as Jeremiah watched the potter take that pot that wasn't coming out right and crush it to make something new, with the news yesterday, I kind of feel like that pot. When life throws you curveballs like the ones I've gotten over the last month, it's easy to blame God for your problems and wallow in self-pity. For the most part, I'm doing OK with that, but believe me, I have my moments. While reading this passage this morning it reminded me of this post I saw 2 months ago, before this all started, at "Stuff Christians Like" by Jon Acuff. Reading it again today, though...well, it's got a whole different meaning to me now. Let me share some of it with you:

Here is the question I felt like God asked me:

"Do I have the right to crack the vessel if breaking it is the fastest way to share with the world what I have poured into it?"

The truth is, I don't have a fancy, easy answer to the question "Why do bad things happen to good people?" All I have is my own question:

Does God have the right to crack the vessel if breaking it is the fastest way to share what He poured into us?

The question is not "Does He love us?" My life circumstances do not determine that. He is love. Regardless of what happens to me in this life, that is who He is and who He will always be.

The question is not "Do we have to fake smile through pain?" I don't think so. I've had friends that have buried their children and seen moms fall to cancer 5 weeks after being diagnosed. There are many, many things in this world that suck and will continue to do so. I would never tell friends who experienced tragedies to turn a frown upside down or whitewash the year my whole life fell apart with instant rainbows and fluffy clouds.

The question is not "If God is supposed to work all things out for the good, why is this situation so painful?" It's His definition of good, not mine, that I must live with. Thankfully, mercifully, beautifully, He doesn't promise to work things out according to my understanding of "good." His good will always exceed mine because He can define "good" across the solar system and I can only define it with what I see with my own eyes.

The question is not, "Can I trust a God that allows bad things to happen to good people?" Although that's tempting to get stuck on. Sometimes when we say, "How can I serve a God that would allow bad things to happen," we miss what we might be really saying. I think what we mean is, "I could only serve a God that is good or loving according to my own personal definition of what those words mean." But that's kind of terrifying to me. I don't want to worship a God who's power is limited to my ability to understand it or who's goodness is limited to my ability to define it. I get "good" and "bad" wrong all the time.

I am not equipped to tell God how He should be or understand if something He's doing is good or bad. And the biggest truth, the one that's easiest to miss, is that in any given situation, God is working out of love. He's ridiculous that way. On the surface it might feel like the worst pain we've ever known, the darkest skies that could ever cover our tiny planet, but all the while, God is calling us, urging us, drawing us to His love. It makes no sense, but it's true.

Just like that potter, God, if we truly believe, does love us and wants what's best for us, even if we don't see that path with our earthly eyes. If God's way of advancing His kingdom lies in me walking through this path of disease and transplant, then let's get it on! Sure, it's not fun...it's frankly a little scary...not to mention the time and cost of all these procedures. (soooo thankful to have health insurance!!) But, like Jon said, if "cracking" me physically is the quickest way for me to share His love, acceptance, and forgiveness, then I'm ready to be broken today.

Here's hoping we can trust the hands and plans of the Almighty Potter today.


(If you want to read the entire post referenced above, click here.)

Results Of My Biopsy...

Well, we've been waiting on this since I finally had the biopsy of my kidneys done last week. It wasn't the news we hoped for, but it gives us a clear path of where we go from here.

I just got back from the nephrologist about an hour ago, and we’ve found the cause of my problems. I have a kidney disease called IgA nephropathy (click here if you want more info on it...but it's pretty heavy reading...) In this disease, instead of the kidneys functioning like normal, there is some unknown antigen that inflames the glomeruli, which are the tiny capillaries in your kidneys that actually filter the blood. In response to this unknown antigen, the body sends antibodies to fight and defeat this antigen. Once these “viruses” are trapped by the antibodies, normally they circulate through the bloodstream until they are drawn out by your liver or other organ and passed out of your body. In IgA, they get stuck in the kidneys and can’t move out. In response to this, your body sends stronger and stronger antibodies and other enzymes to fight this infection, but to no avail. All the increased attention does is cause the kidneys to become more clogged and scarred and therefore, cease to function. From what I’ve been able to find, only about 3,000 to 4,000 people a year are diagnosed with IgA, making it a pretty rare disease.

The results of my biopsy (2 needle pokes) showed at least 80% of the glomeruli (filters) were irreversibly scarred by this process. Knowing that my kidneys won’t regain any function, they’ve started the ball rolling to put an access in my arm for long term dialysis which involves tying a vein and artery together in my arm to allow the blood to flow better in that spot. They’re also working to get me in to see the transplant team as soon as I can. This will involve a bunch of tests to ensure I’m healthy enough to endure the process, and that I don’t have any other problems that will affect a transplant. I know some of you have offered to be tested to see if you can donate, and I appreciate that…however, until I’m an approved candidate, getting tested wouldn’t matter.

Though this wasn't the news we hoped for, it was what I expected. Though this means we're in for the long haul, the good news is it's still treatable, through dialysis or transplant, and the prognosis is good for a long and healthy life. Thanks for your prayers, notes, calls, and cards...they are much appreciated by my wife and I. Thanks for all the support both spiritually, emotionally, and logistically - we've needed many sitters to pull all these appointments off! I'll keep you posted as we walk through this together!

Cover-Ups...

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

While the women were on their way, some of the guards went into the city and reported to the chief priests everything that had happened. When the chief priests had met with the elders and devised a plan, they gave the soldiers a large sum of money, telling them, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came during the night and stole him away while we were asleep.’ If this report gets to the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” So the soldiers took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story has been widely circulated among the Jews to this very day.

(Matthew 28:1-6 & 11-15, NIV)

Gotta love the guards and chief priests...Jesus is resurrected from the dead, and angel appears to them and tells them He is risen and gone. Instead of agreeing that Jesus was God, their immediate response was to say His body was stolen. Basically, they said "You tell the authorities you fell asleep and the disciples snuck in and took His body." Yeah, right...never mind the stone and the seal, and the fact that there's no way you could move that huge stone quietly enough to not wake a sleeping guard. Apparently, some of them bought it for a time, as the Bible tells us.

It's interesting...all through the Bible you see instances of miraculous things being done, and then see the efforts of the Pharisees and priests to "cover up" and debunk God's work by making up stories or paying people off to lie about what happened. The funny thing is, even with all this opposition, most of the things the Bible talks about are validated by the histories of the time, written by men who wanted nothing to do with God. No matter how hard they tried, over time, the truth came out and was proven true by those historians.

It still happens today...even more so than then. Many groups are working to cover up the work of God, to discredit the spread of the Gospel, and to get us to think that people don't need God anymore. Funny thing is, the same "cover-up" is going on now, and is being found false on a daily basis. I guess it just goes to show that you can't keep God down, and that He'll always find His way back to the top.

For me, I'm glad to know this. As a Christ-Follower, it's encouraging to know that what I've put my faith in is true and real. Here's hoping you find some confidence after the "cover-ups" today.

Doing Church...

Earlier this week, I went to a friend's house with two other men. We went to see him late that night to be there for him as he'd received some heartbreaking news earlier that day. We talked, debated, and prayed together. I received an email from him the next day saying "I think somehow during the visit we had church". This got me thinking about some other events of the past week.

My buddy Jon tweeted this week that he just "saw church break out at the Beef Barn at the 4-H fair". Some of the youth group members took some time from their busy fair schedule to gather together to study God's word. They were "doing church" right where they were.

On Friday I got together for lunch with a friend I'm growing very close to. We try to meet weekly to share what's going on in our life and to pray for each other. This week we both shared some heartaches and had some laughs. In the midst of our salads, we were "doing church" right where we were.

Yesterday, another friend and his family went to the cemetery to bury their infant daughter. As much as it must have tore their hearts, they were surrounded by family and friends who were there to lift them up and carry them when they can't carry on. Next to those headstones, they were "doing church" right where they were.

You see, sometimes we get to focused on "going to church". I understand and realize it's importance to our daily walk and to encourage us, but let's be honest: it's only a few hours every week. Don't ever think that God's only called you to do "church" on Sundays and Wednesdays. Just like the events of the week, you can be "the church" right where you are. All around you, there are people hurting, just waiting and hoping for someone to care enough to slow down and take the time to talk and help them. Don't get so wrapped up in yourself that you miss these opportunities to be "Jesus with skin on".

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

(Proverbs 17:17, NIV)

Here's hoping you find a way to "do church" outside the church this week.

Loving The Least Of These...

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,
I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

(Matthew 25:34-40, NIV)

For the least of these....

This story is so familiar, yet I always struggle with that part of the story. You see, as Jesus told the parable, the people were astonished that someone wouldn't share their food with Jesus, or clothe Him, or visit Him. He's Jesus, for Pete's sake...who wouldn't want to help Him out? Jesus knew that, and that's why he spoke those words. He knew it would be easy to serve the ones we admire or love, but the true test of being His followers are those willing to serve the least of these.

So, what does that mean? You know that person that annoys you every time you see them? That person you'll cross the street or hide in bushes to avoid? That's the one you're called to eat with. That person that has never apologized for what they did to you? That's the one you're supposed to clothe. That person that dresses differently, smells differently, and talks differently? That's who you're supposed to visit.

If you follow the life of Jesus on earth, He spends time with the leaders and disciples, but He was very intentional about making time to love the unlovable. Tax collectors, prostitutes, people living in sin...Jesus made a point of meeting them all right where they were. He didn't judge them...He just loved them, despite their flaws and sin.

Do you want to bring someone to God's love, acceptance, and forgiveness? If so, the best way to do that is to love, accept, and forgive them yourself. You will have no greater impact than that, to love "the least of these" unconditionally and completely. Being a Christ-follower is never easy. In fact, we're told the road is narrow and hard. It's going to require stepping out of your comfort zone and letting go of pride, guilt, and anger..but imagine what a difference it could make if we did it.

Here's hoping we can each love "the least of these" today.

Live Right...Even When It's Hard...

That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.

Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into.

So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.

(Matthew 24:39b-44, NIV)

It's been a long week so far.

Yesterday I had a biopsy on my kidney. It didn't take too long, but it's sore today. About 8:30 last night, my wife came down in pain and we ended up in the emergency room with her getting a CT and medication for kidney stones. (What's up with the Henschens and their kidneys?!) It's been a long few weeks all around. Our church's prayer request sheet was a page and half long last week. I spent a night talking and praying with a friend who's facing very difficult circumstances. I've seen people pass away from long illnesses and alos very unexpected endings. If there's ever been a day I've really wanted Jesus to come back and end all this, today would be pretty high on that list.

Part of this anticipation involes being prepared. Like the verses above say, when it happens, it will be in the blink of an eye, and nothing that we can plan for. We must live each day like Rich Mullins said in his first hit, "Live Right":

"Live like you'll die tomorrow , Die knowing you'll live forever, live right!"

You see, we're called to live a life that brings glory to God no matter what's on our plate. Sometimes this is easy, and sometimes, like now for me, it's hard. I know I've been handling this OK, but sometimes, like last night, I just had to cry out to God and say, "OK, that's enough for now. Let me breathe a bit, and process what you're already put on my plate."

Sometimes, the only thing we can hold on to is the fact that God says that He will give us the strength to deal with whatever comes our way. Sometimes, we'll charge headstrong into those battles...but sometimes we've just got to let Him carry us through.

Here's hoping we live a life that reflects His glory to others, no matter what circumstances we're facing.

Third Time's The Charm...

Finally, I was able to get my kidney biopsy done this morning. They actually even got me in an hour early! I'm back home, and a little sore, but doing well. Now, we wait for the results. They could be back as early as Friday, but I don't expect them until Monday, when I already have a scheduled appointment with the nephrologist. They've told me to take it easy today, and we'll see what tomorrow brings. Thanks for your prayers!!

Worrying About What Others Think...

As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor.”

(2 Samuel 6:16, 20-22, NIV)

Michal was David's wife, in addition to being the daughter of Saul. I'd imagine she'd always held a little bit of hart feelings against David after the way her dad was defeated, choosing to take his own life in the end. When she saw David take of his kingly robes and jewelry and dance before the Ark and God, she was embarrassed. How could a king act like that in front of his subjects? She stewed over this until David returned to their room at the palace, then she let him have it...

She essentially said, "Nice, David. You made a complete fool of yourself today. The people will never look at you the same way again!" All Michal could think about was what people would think and how she would be perceived by David's actions. David, on the other hand, had the right perspective. He said, "Don't you worry about what people think. I will praise God no matter how I look. I may even seem even more foolish than I did today, but it's all for his glory. If He choose to ask me to do something that makes me look crazy, I'll do it just because He asked. His opinion is the only one that matters."

I want to have the heart of David, but all too often, I act just like Michal. I'm too concerned about what others think of me to step out of my comfort zone and serve Him in nontraditional ways. I'm afraid to raise my hands in worship because I'm afraid someone make stare at me. I'm afraid to pray aloud, thinking that I may not have the words that others will find pleasing to listen to. I need to be more like David, to just follow Him with reckless joy and abandon, to dance and leap before Him. (If you would ever see me dance, you'd realize just how painful that would be to watch...)

Here's hoping we can all get over ourselves and "look silly" for His glory today.

Apparently, Peyton's Been Busy...

In season, Peyton Manning is quite possibly the best NFL quarterback ever, leading the offense for my favorite team, the Indianapolis Colts. I've always wondered what he does in the offseason. I thought vacations, fishing trips, working a few camps, and just taking it easy...but according to this clip from last night's ESPY broadcast, he's doing much more than that...



(ht to Stampede Blue for the link to the ESPY video...)

Feelings...

Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.

“It is written,” he said to them, “ ‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it a ‘den of robbers.’” The blind and the lame came to him at the temple, and he healed them.

(Matthew 21:12-14, NIV)

I chose this passage today to illustrate just one thing: Jesus got mad. Nothing more, nothing less, really. Jesus came upon the temple, probably hoping to find people praying and worshipping God. Instead, what he found was a group of predatory salesman charging exorbitant prices for animals for sacrifice. Instead of charging a fair price, they would try to fleece the people for every cent they could get. As sacrifices were still needed to atone for sins at that point, they were essentially charging for God's forgiveness. This ticked Jesus off and not only did he clear them out of the area, he beat them with a cat of nine tails, much like the one used on His back later on.

This passage touched me because all too often, I think we discount the emotional side of God. I think Jesus got mad, cried, laughed, and got frustrated just like you and I. The Bible says we are made in His image, so it makes sense that He would have the same emotions we have. If you just see Jesus as a stoic, serious man that just preaches in a monotone, you're missing the point entirely. Jesus was a passionate man, full of energy and fire as He shared God's love, acceptance, and forgiveness with any who would listen. His heart broke when they turned against Him, and He cried out to God to find another way that night in the garden of Gethsemane. He got angry seeing people being taken advantage of, and I know He laughed as He sat around talking with His disciples and family.

Don't put God up on a pedestal as someone high and mighty you'll never be able to talk with...He'd much rather you hold Him as close as a brother and share everything with Him. He wants to hear your praises as much as your cries for help. He wants to listen to your angry rants, and He wants to laugh with you, too. He just wants a relationship with us, for us to make it personal with Him.

Here's hoping we can not just pray, but really just talk to Him today.

Finally!!!

(A little cheesy, I know...but there's not too many results when you Google "funny kidney pictures...)

We finally got a call for the biopsy! It will be Wednesday morning at 9 a.m. and hopefully we'll finally find out what in the world is wrong with my kidneys. Overall, I'm still feeling good. The weight loss seems to have leveled out at about 40 pounds, and I'm gaining back strength and endurance. My blood counts are moving upward, but we don't know if this is just from dialysis, or if my kidneys are regaining any sort of function.

Dialysis is going pretty well. It's kind of boring at times, but I've got a lot of reading done. I've felt pretty well after most of my appointments, so that's good, too. The diet is getting a little easier to deal with...but I still miss my salty chips! Thanks for all your prayers, cards, notes, calls, and visits...they really help!

Some Link Love...

If you don't already read the blogs listed on the right hand side of this blog...here's a few you ought to read:

"Snips & Snails" is a new blog just started by Jamie Moyer. She's had some great posts on her Xanga site, and it's nice to have her here in the Blogger world now. Welcome, Jamie, and go check her out!

Shelley had a great post this morning about her Christian family heritage...it's good stuff.

Derrywrote a great little lesson about taking what we've learned at camp or retreats and bringing it home and living it out. Click here to read his thoughts and see his great little visual aid for this.

Finally, Becky knocks it out of the park on this one. Her post on fear is one of the best I've ever read. You need to read it. NOW. Seriously, click here.

There's alot of other great stuff out there, too...just take a look!

Funny Picture Friday...

With all the events of the last few weeks, I thought we all could use a little laugh...so back for a special guest appearance, the return of "Funny Picture Friday"!!!

Off we go...

First off, some top notch police work...



If you need this sign, you should probably stay in the house...



Yeowch...but I must admit, the guy's expression cracks me up...



Why I refuse to wear horizontal stripes...



This isn't going to end well...



And, finally, speaking of not ending well...I think I can hold it until the next rest stop...



Here's hoping you've got better options than that, and have a great weekend!

Stubborn...

'For when I brought your forefathers out of Egypt and spoke to them, I did not just give them commands about burnt offerings and sacrifices, but I gave them this command: Obey me, and I will be your God and you will be my people. Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you. But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward. From the time your forefathers left Egypt until now, day after day, again and again I sent you my servants the prophets. But they did not listen to me or pay attention. They were stiff-necked and did more evil than their forefathers.’

(Jeremiah 7:22-26, NIV)

Stubborn.

I took a peek at the definition of this word online, and I found a few that fit this passage, and my life, pretty well:

tenaciously unwilling or marked by tenacious unwillingness to yield: This one hit pretty close to home. Anyone that know me knows how much I hate to lose an argument. Even if you give up, I tend to keep on pressing until you admit that I'm right. In my spiritual life, I tend to be this way, too. I know what I should do, but still I do what I shouldn't. My head knows what's right, but my will often wins out over it.

refusing to move or change one's opinion; obstinate: Ouch...again. This definition reminds of the footage on the news during Hurricane Katrina. Seeing the old people refuse to leave their homes as the water crept closer and closer, leaving them to certain death but unwilling to go. Far too often I'm like that with God. He sees the temptations all around me, ready to consume my heart and He offers me a way out with His hand. Instead of grabbing it and hanging on, I just tend to tell Him "I'll be fine!" as the waters swirl around my feet. This often ends up with me failing yet again.

resolute adherence to your own ideas or desires: OK, is someone following me? As much as I want to say that God's in charge of my life, far too often I'll tell Him this: "I know you're busy with everything, so I'll just handle this part of my life for you...I'm just here to help." I wish my motives were that pure, but I really just don't want to give up control of things. Sometimes God has had to put me in situations where the only option I had left was to cry out to Him to save me before I'd let Him have it.

One of the seven chief features, or stumbling blocks. Its positive pole is determination; its negative pole is obstinacy. It is a fear of change.: This one hurts the most. I think one of the main reasons I'm stubborn with God is the fear of change. I like my job, my home, my life, and my family and friends. To truly be sold out and following Him, I need to be ready to give all of that up. Sadly, like the rich young ruler, I'm not sure if I'm there yet. I'd like to think I am, but I've never been put to the test. Most of us are willing to follow God as long as we aren't inconvenienced...few of us are willing to go wherever He leads, no matter the cost.

I could never understand why the Israelites were so stubborn and faithless despite all the signs and miracles they saw from God...now I see I'm just like them. Here's hoping we can let go of the stubbornness in our hearts today.

Coming Down From The Mountain...

After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. There he was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.

Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here. If you wish, I will put up three shelters–one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.”

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” When the disciples heard this, they fell facedown to the ground, terrified. But Jesus came and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don't be afraid.” When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus.

As they were coming down the mountain, Jesus instructed them, “Don't tell anyone what you have seen, until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.”

(Matthew 17:1-9, NIV)

The story of the Transfiguration is a very familiar one to most of us that have grown up in church. Peter, James, John, went with Jesus to the mountaintop and saw something that just blew their minds. Jesus was transformed into his heavenly form and spent some time talking with Moses and Elijah, two very famous prophets from the Old Testament long since dead. It was such a great experience that Peter wanted to build shelters for each of them so that they could stay as long as they wanted, but the experience was over way too soon for them. The prophets left and Jesus returned to his earthly form. At that point, they headed back down the mountain, and that's the part I wanted to focus on.

You see, those three disciples just had an experience that no one would believe. I'm sure it stirred their hearts and ignited a passion they thought would never die. Sadly, just a short while later, these three, along with everyone else, left Jesus alone to die on the cross, denying they ever knew him. That time on the mountain top was quickly set aside and forgotten when the problems down below kicked in.

I've been following Derry's experience with his senior high group at their camp. I see such a fire in their eyes that they are ready to go out and change the world for His glory. I've been there, too, moved to action by a book, scripture, sermon, or concert...but all too often, the flame flickers out and dies as I get back into my normal routine and face all the problems, pressures, and temptations in my daily walk. Later on in this chapter Jesus says if we only had the faith of a mustard seed we could move mountains. Just imagine what we could do for Him if only a few of us had that kind of faith!

So, that's my prayer for today for myself and all those around me, including those campers: that we find fresh fire to renew our hearts for God, and that we keep that fire burning no matter what obstacles we face.

Here's hoping we don't forget about the mountaintop when life finds us in the valleys.

"Give Me A Sign!"

The Pharisees and Sadducees came to Jesus and tested him by asking him to show them a sign from heaven. He replied, “When evening comes, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,’ and in the morning, ‘Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.’ You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times. A wicked and adulterous generation looks for a miraculous sign, but none will be given it except the sign of Jonah.” Jesus then left them and went away.

(Matthew 16:1-4, NIV)

"Just give me a sign!"

How many times have you prayed that? Come on, be honest....I know I've prayed this dozens and dozens of times. When I've been looking for direction I'll pray that God will give me the wet or dry fleece that He did for Gideon. When I feel I just need more time I'll pray that He'll stop the sun in the sky like He did for Joshua. When I'm lost I'll pray for a cloud by day and fire by night just like the Israelites did.

Life is hard, and most of us hate making decisions, especially ones that can affect our lives greatly and the lives of those around us. It's easy to pray for a miraculous sign from God, because that takes all the pressure off us. If we get it, great, and if we don't, we can blame it on God. It's a "win-win" for us, right?

Problem is, though getting a sign would be great, I think God's disappointed we're even asking, just like Jesus was disappointed with the Pharisees. Just like them, we've got all the information we need to make the right decisions in our hands. They had the Bible just like we do. To ask for a sign, I think, is to dismiss all the lessons and histories contained within that book. The Pharisees believed that if they could only see a miracle, a sign, that they would finally believe, but Jesus knew that no matter what He did, they would always find a way to blame or dismiss Him. Sadly, we're not much different today.

We know it takes faith to follow Jesus. Peter's walk on the water a few chapters ago showed us that...but we also need to read and study God's word. If you don't, it's like having the instructions to put together a model, but just winging it instead. You may end up with something that looks right on the outside, but I don't believe the foundation will be secure.

Here's hoping we stop praying for a sign and start reading about the ones He's already shown us.

The Latest On Me...

Really, still no news to report. As far as I know, my blood pressure is down to a safe level, and my platelets are up, but that can change from day to day. I still don't have an appointment for the biopsy yet, but I've been told that it will be a needle biopsy instead of the open biopsy, which will make recovery much easier. I do have an appointment with the nepharologist tomorrow, and I'm hoping to know more then. I guess I just need to have some patience, right? On the plus side, dialysis is going well, and I feel pretty good most of the time. So, that's it for now, thanks again for the prayers, note, cards, and calls...they really help brighten my days!

Playing "Hard To Get"..

A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon‑possession.”

Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”

The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.

He replied, “It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs.”

“Yes, Lord,” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table.”

Then Jesus answered, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour."

(Matthew 15:22-28, NIV)

When you first read this passage, it's easy to get caught up in what seems to be a poor attitude by Jesus. I mean, He basically blew off her request three times, calling her a "dog" at one point in the conversation. He seems rude and unfeeling toward the woman, and it seems to go against all that we've been taught about Him...but on a second look, I think I see what His plan was.

I think Jesus knew all along what that woman wanted...I just think He wanted to know how much she wanted it. This woman had three chances to lose faith and walk away from Jesus, to accept defeat and leave in shame. Instead, she kept working and asking for Jesus to heal her possessed daughter. She was so persistent that the disciples basically asked Jesus to heal the kid so the woman would just be quiet and leave them alone.

Jesus told her that he came only for the Jews, but she did not quit. Jesus told her that she basically wasn't worth the time and effort, but she did not stop. In fact, she defended herself by telling Him that even the dogs got scraps from the master's table. Satisfied of her faith, Jesus granted her request and healed her daughter.

It's a great story, but you wonder if the disciples got the point. Instead of looking at the woman's great faith, persistence, and perseverance, they just were glad to have that chatterbox gone. You see, what I get from this passage is that God doesn't always hand us everything on a silver platter. Sometimes we have to work for it. Sometimes the road is rough and filled with many obstacles. Sometimes we see where He wants us to be and we give up before we even start, saying it's too hard and we just can't do it. I know, in my life, the greatest lessons I've learned and the closest I've felt to God have been on the other side of the great valleys and trials of my life. I don't think I would have learned the same lessons without those hardships.

Here's hoping God doesn't make it too easy on us today.

Keep Your Eyes On Him...

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.

When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It's a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid.”

“Lord, if it's you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

(Matthew 14:25-32, NIV)

I made some new friends yesterday.

After our small group finished our lesson, I went over and introduced myself to a new couple that came to our class. I quickly learned that this family had recently lost their 3 year old daughter tragically just a couple of weeks ago. I told them that I had been praying for them and I asked how they were doing....and I was blown away by their response.

I know they miss their little girl terribly, and I'm sure there are times when the grief is still fresh and heavy on their hearts, but the perspective they had on it was amazing. They were assured that she is in heaven and having a great time. They know God has a purpose in all of this, even if it's hard to see right now. They asked for an invitation to be given at her funeral, and a number of people accepted Christ, including one of his daughters. This turn of events hasn't broken them...in fact, it's set them on fire to share God's love, acceptance, and forgiveness with everyone they know, because they know all too well that today could be the last chance they have to share it.

As our conversation ended, God was working on me a little bit. I've been getting all kinds of praise for how I'm handling my health situation. I don't quite understand it, but I still appreciate hearing it, and it's easy to be prideful about it...but listening to my new friend speak, I realized that my faith is so small compared to his. I can't imagine losing one of my children and not being furious with God for quite a while. Just like Peter in the passage above, I just felt like God was saying "You of little faith...you think you've got it all, but you're not even close, my friend...if you really, truly had faith, there's nothing we could do."

God put this couple in our class yesterday for a reason...to show me a little perspective on my current situation, and to remind me that no matter where I'm at in my walk with Him, I've still got a long way to go. I'm thankful they were willing to follow His lead to share such a personal story of grief with someone they just met.

Here's hoping when the storms of life are raging, I can keep my eyes on Him.

"I Will Give You Rest..."

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

(Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

Is there anything better in life than watching a sleeping child?

One of my favorite things to do as a young parent was to rock my kids to sleep. Not only did you have the sense of accomplishment, but there was just something about watching that little bundle just snooze away. There's such a peace about their faces, and the quiet of the room just envelopes you. It's such an intimate time just between the two of you. My kids are getting older, but I still, from time to time, steal a glance at them while they're out at night. There's just such a simple beauty in seeing them rest peacefully.

I think God loves to watch us rest for the same reason. He knows how busy we keep ourselves, filling every possible moment with activities or work. He knows how worn out and frazzled we become trying to be everything to everyone all the time. He knows that this pace will overwhelm even the best of us over time, so like a good father He just waits for us until we wear completely out and finally climb up in His arms to be rocked to rest. He loves that time because it's just you and Him, nothing else pulling or pushing for your attention...just the two of you together.

I know it's hard to find that time in our daily schedules. We have to make time for it. We should never be too busy for Him, because He's never too busy for us. Not only do we need to rest physically, but spiritually and emotionally, too. Life can be pretty hard at times, and we all need a chance to re-charge our batteries.

Here's hoping you take some time to rest in His mighty arms today.

Don't Be Afraid...

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

(Matthew 10:28-31, NIV)

Fear.

It can stop us cold in our tracks and, if we let it, it can consume our every waking thoughts. Fear can paralyze even the best and bravest of us, given the right situation. We all like to think that we would be brave and strong in every situation, but in reality, I think we're all scared of something, right?

Let me be the first to admit I'm a little scared of my health. I know kidney failure is treatable, so I need to be thankful for that, but when I research all that comes along with it, sometimes it's overwhelming. Thankfully, I've got verses like this to help remind me that God is in control, and that He has a plan for me and my health. If He heals me, I've got more time to reach people for His glory. If He takes me home, then I'm with Him. Really, if you look at it that way, how can I lose? I know God values me, my life, and my health, and I know that whatever happens to me my heart and soul will always be with Him.

So, instead of choosing to live in fear, I think I'll just live by the words Jim Valvano shared in his unforgettable speech in 1993:

When people say to me how do you get through life or each day, it's the same thing. To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.

Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.

Here's hoping you stop living in fear today.



Here's Jim's full speech if you want to see it....it gives me goosebumps every time I listen...

"The Desert Road"...

Jon Acuff, author of the popular site "Stuff Christians Like", has written another amazing post. This one talks about God's timing and our impatience with where He's placed us at any given moment. It particularly touched me in my current health situation, but I'd imagine anyone reading it could find it applicable.

Click here to read "Refusing The Desert Road"...you'll be glad you did.

Awesome Things...

For when you did awesome things that we did not expect,
you came down, and the mountains trembled before you.

(Isaiah 64:3, NIV)

God's got a great history of doing awesome things we do not expect.

I mean, really, take a look at the Old Testament. The plagues, the opening of the Red Sea, the fiery furnace, stopping the sun in the sky, "fire by day and cloud by night", manna...the list goes on and on. Then you travel to the New Testament and find the miracles of Jesus and many other awesome things He does to further His glory. I think sometimes we get so caught up in looking for "awesome things" like these that we miss so many moments that He puts in front of us.

I took along some blank thank-you notes along to dialysis last night to work on. I had plans for 2 or 3 of them, but by the time I was finished I had written 14 of them. As I wrote them, God just kept bringing to mind different ones that took the time to encourage, write, or visit me during the last two weeks. Some provided comfort, others a laugh, and some just sat quietly with me and my family as I waited on procedures.

Some people say that in times like I'm going through they really feel alone. I can honestly say that hasn't happened for me. During the events of the last two weeks I've been surrounded by such love and support that it's hard for me to accept it all. Some may chalk this up to people just being nice...but I know better. People are just being responsive to God's lead and serving me and my family in these ways.

Sometimes I wish that God would heal my kidneys and that could be the "awesome thing I did not expect"....but when I look at my life and the great family and relationships He's blessed me with, it's pretty awesome already.

Thanks God....I didn't expect that.

What's Up With Me...

Right now, I really don't have much news to report. I've started my regular dialysis appointments in Elkhart. I do this three times a week for four hours at a time. It's kind of boring, but it beats the alternative, right? I take stuff to read and puzzles to do, and each station has a little TV I can watch also.

As far as I know, my platelet count is still low, so we have to wait for that to rise to a safe level. Once it's there, then I have to wait to be scheduled in for the surgery. We're still hopeful that it happens this week, but I'm not counting on it.

As for me, right now I feel pretty good. I worked all day yesterday and still felt good last night. This morning I feel great and I even walked to the post office and back from our office (about 6 blocks each way). That may not seem like much, but the anemia has really knocked down my endurance. It does feel good to get some exercise, but I do miss the gym. The diet isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm finding things I like, and developing some new tastes for other things as well. I'm still dropping weight (close to 30 lbs. in the last two weeks!) but most of that was water, and the better shape I'm in, the easier the treatments will be.

Thanks again to all that have helped and are helping out, especially with our kids. With all we have on our plate right now, we couldn't do it alone, and we're very blessed to have many family and friends surrounding us right now. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much.

Keep The Faith...

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.”

Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.”

The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that very hour."

(Matthew 8:7-13, NIV)

Faith.

It means believing in something we cannot see, touch, or feel.

As you read this familiar story, remember that the centurion is not a Jew, one of the chosen people that Jesus first preached to. He was a Roman citizen, and had nothing to do with the Jewish faith and Jesus at first. I'm sure, though, as Jesus's reputation and fame grew, the centurion came to believe that He was the Son of God, and that He had the power to heal the sick.

The centurion was also a man of great compassion. When he met Jesus, he appealed for the healing of his servant. Remember, in this time, it was a feudal system, and servants were often thought to be "less than" the nobles. The centurion, though, cared for his servant like a family member.

Finally, this man had faith. When he went to Jesus, he didn't ask him to come to his home and lay hands on the servant. Instead, he said this: "Just say that he will be healed, Jesus. I give orders for a living, and even if I don't see them actually being carried out, I know they will be. Just say the words, and I know he will be healed."

Now, think about the many Jews that had been following Jesus for weeks, seeing all these miracles, and still not fully believing. Think about the ones following Jesus hoping for a miracle for selfish gain or ambition. Think about the disciples, studying at His feet, yet still not able to have the faith of this Gentile general.

Jesus was shocked, and touched, to have found a man with such great faith, especially given his background. He granted the man's request, and the centurion went on his way, back home to his now healthy servant.

Application? Sometimes it's hard to believe. Quite often it seems like everything is going against us. When the day is darkest, that's when it's the hardest to hold on to that faith that God will see us through it. The thing is, though, sometimes it has to get so dark for us to leave go of the things we hold so tightly do and hand on to the Light. Sometimes God's got to shake us up a bit to get us back to leaning completely on Him.

The Bible says if we only had the faith of a mustard seed that we could move mountains. Here's hoping we all can find just a little bit of that faith today.

Results Vs. Relationship...

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

(Matthew 7:7-8, NIV)

This is an old familiar verse to many of us...but rarely do I take the time to really dive into it. Here we go:

I've done a lot of praying over the past few weeks. Far more than I had before, to be perfectly honest. I think we're all guilty of the "foxhole prayers" when things aren't going our way, only to forget to spend time with God altogether when things are fine. This week, though, it's been different, and I'll tell you why...

Sure, I've prayed for my kidneys to be healed. I try not to look ahead too far, but seeing the long term prospects and cost for dialysis and transplant really scare me. I know God can do it if He would choose to, and some would interpret this verse to mean that if I just ask God to heal me and believe that He will, that I would be healed. If I'm not, that means that I don't have enough faith or that I'm not "close" enough to have my prayers answered.

After this past week, I don't think that's what this verse is about at all. Sure, we can pray for healing, health, and other things, and sometimes things may happen the way we want, but I think this verses refers to asking for things that can improve our relationship with God. Things like peace, grace, strength, perseverance, humility, humbleness, compassion, and other things that draw us closer to Him. That's what He's after...but we get so caught up in what we want for ourselves that it's so easy to lose sight of Him, even if that request seems to be for something we think we need.

I had a moment last week while lying on an operating table waiting to have a catheter put in my neck for dialysis. I was fully draped and prepped, not able to see anything but the back of the blue sheets they had on top of me. At that moment, for a few minutes, I really wondered if He was listening to me at all. Just a half hour before, the biopsy that will reveal what's really going on with me had been cancelled for the second time. I was frustrated and disappointed, and ready to just feel sorry for myself...but in that quiet moment, a simple song started running through my head:

"Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise
And the thunders roar
I Will soar with You
Above the storm
Father You are King
Over the flood
And I will be still
And know You are God

Be still and know
That I am God"

In that moment, I understood what that meant. I know God loves me, and I know it breaks His heart to see me hurting, but I know He wants that kind of fully dependent relationship that song implies for me. He wants me to ASK for His grace, patience, and strength, SEEK to find what He wants me to learn through this and those He wants me to touch, and KNOCK on those doors of opportunity, those "Godly appointments" He sets before each of us every day.

Yesterday at church, my friend Becky was leading worship. She did a wonderful job of planning the service, and my heart was touched and prepared by the selections she made. Right before the pastor came to talk, Becky led us in one last song: "Be Still". It was like God knew I needed to hear that again, and again, to be reminded each day that I'm in His hands, and He's in control, even when I'm not. Even in the midst of these trials, God's finding ways to let me know how much He loves me...and that's pretty cool.

Here's hoping you ask, seek, and knock on His door today.

Finally Home...

I got to come home from the hospital this afternoon about 1 p.m. Today I had another dialysis treatment, a full one this time, and they also gave me 2 pints of blood in a transfusion. My blood test results are improving, and the toxin level is dropping quickly, which is good. My platelet count is still very low so, at this point, we don't know when the biopsy will be. I should hear from the urologist sometime early next week to find out what their plan is. Until this is done, we still have no idea what's causing the kidneys to fail, and if we can do anything about it. In very basic terms, if my kidneys are sick, we can medicate them while continuing dialysis until they become strong enough to function on their own again. If the kidneys are diseased and damaged, that damage is permanent and cannot be reversed, leading to regular dialysis and a spot on the transplant list. Either way, I'll probably be on dialysis for at least the next six months or so no matter what. I'm also going to have to change my diet dramatically. My kidneys can't process sodium or potassium very well right now, and it's in pretty much everything. That will take some time and effort to work through. I've got to start keeping a food journal to track my intake of those things. The more I monitor what I eat, the easier the dialysis will be on me, if that makes sense. I'm also restricted in fluids, as you tend to retain water with kidney issues. They put me on a diuretic (or "water pill") just a week ago, and I've lost over 20 pounds since then! I'm still not sure how I'll feel with the dialysis physically. Though I've had two treatments, I've only slept about 6 hours total the last 3 days, so I don't think it's fair to judge how I feel until I can catch up on my rest. The nurses, though, have told me that I've handled the first two treatments very well, so I'll take that as a compliment. I'll start my regular treatments on this Sunday at 5 p.m., and then Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday evenings will be my regular times for dialysis from 5:30 to 9:30 p.m.

That's where I'm at as of right now. Hopefully I can sleep well tonight and we can spend the 4th of July at the lake with my family. Thanks again so much for all your prayers and support during this time.

"Thank You" Just Isn't Enough...

Thank you.

These words seem so inadequate to explain how much I've appreciated the outpouring of support and care since this all started about a week ago. I've always been the caregiver and encourager, so being on the other end is new and, honestly, hard for me...but I've truly been blessed by many of you. From the notes and encouraging emails, to sharing your memories and prayers with me, to some unexpected but very welcome visitors to the hospital, to those who've come around my wife and family to help with the needs still at home.

If you know me, I like to be in control. I like to do things myself. Right now, I can't...but it's so humbling to know that so many people care and have reached out to us to see what they can do to help.

Whether it's been just a note, a phone call, an email, a visit, mowing the lawn, or watching our kids, you've blessed and served me and my family and we are so grateful to have you all in our lives. God never meant for us to go it alone in life, and this last week has shown me I have more people willing to stand in the gap with me than I ever knew I had before. You are appreciated and loved more than I could ever write or tell you.

Thank you for all you've done....and keep looking for those chances to be "Jesus with skin on" to others. A few minutes of your time can make all the difference in the world to someone who's hurting....trust me, I know.

I'm Not Perfect...

And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

(Matthew 3:17, NIV)

I'm not perfect.

I'm not even close. I have good intentions, but often I fall far short of them. I struggle with pride and guilt, and have a hard time accepting God's grace without feeling I need to do something in return. I need to learn more patience. I need to extend more grace. I need to be more bold in sharing my faith, and I need to spend less time thinking about myself and more time seeking to serve others.

But even with all these faults, God loves me anyway. If that's not amazing enough, He forgives me all those failures and gives me chance after chance to live for Him.

As I walked through the hospital halls early this morning and saw so many people so much worse off than I, I was reminded again that my job, my family, and my health can come and go, but only what I do for Him will last forever.

Here's hoping we live a life worthy of being welcomed into heaven with those words from the passage above.

The Latest On Me & My Kidneys...

Well, the last two days really hasn't gone as I hoped...but that's OK. Let me start from the beginning....

Yesterday morning I arrived at the hospital to have a biopsy on my kidneys. When they hooked me up to the BP cuff, I clocked in at 220/120, WAY too high to do a biopsy without the risk of internal bleeding. They gave me some medicine, but I still couldn't get it down to a safe level. At that point, they admitted me and re-scheduled the biopsy for today, Thursday morning. About 10 minutes after I got into my room for the day, my BP dropped to a safe level. (I know....too little, too late!) I spent last night here and in the morning I was still in the safe window to have the biopsy done. They wheeled me down there, got me ready, and then...waited. They waited on my latest blood tests, which then showed that my platlet count was too low, which is what makes your blood clot. Needing that to do the procedure, they cancelled it again. My labs also showed the toxins in my bloodstream were still climbing, so the decision was made to start me on dialysis. They put a catheter in my neck to hook up to for the time being, and I had my first dialysis treatment. It feels kinda weird...I compared it to the feeling your stomach gets when you drink something cold really fast....know how it kind of sends that wave of cool across your stomach? Kinda like that. I was on it for 2 1/2 hours today, but my future treatments will be 4 hours long, 3 days a week for the forseeable future until we reach some resolution on this. I'll meet with a urulogist tonight to schedule a new date for the biopsy, which will now be a open one. That means instead of just poking me with a needle and drawing out tissue samples, they are going to make an incision and actually go in there to my kidneys. This will give them a better look, and ensure that any bleeding is stopped before they close me up. A few days after the biopsy we should get a report on what exactly is causing the problem and what kind of damage it's done to my kidneys. We're still hopeful that at least some of it is reversible and that my kidneys will at least function at a percentage of what they did before. If not, then I'll continue on with dialysis and persue options for a kidney transplant.

So, that's the story up 'till now. It's been one heckuva week, that's for sure....but we're hanging in there. God has been good, and we're in this with Him all the way. Thanks for all the emails, calls, cards, and visits...they lifted my spirits more than I can express. Thanks to those helping with my kids and for those who've taken time out to sit with my wife as she waits. I know this is so hard on her and it breaks my heart to know she has to deal with this...but we're gonna make it. Thanks again...that's it for now...

I'm In His Hands...

You were wearied by all your ways,
but you would not say, ‘It is hopeless.’
You found renewal of your strength,
and so you did not faint.

(Isaiah 57:10, NIV)

In about 2 1/2 hours I'll be in a hospital starting my biopsy to find out what's wrong with my kidneys. As much as I've made my peace with my situation, this is still a little scary for me. I honestly don't know how you make it through a time like this without faith in God to hold on to. It would seem so pointless, so hopeless without that rock to grab on to when it feels like everything else is crumbling around you. God got me up early again, but I had a good time of prayer and devotions and so I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Thanks to all of you that have called, emailed, sent notes or cards, or visited these last few days. You have no idea how encouraging it is to see how much support you have in times like this. I'm so blessed to have great family, friends, and a great church. Thanks for your prayers..and keep them coming!

PS: Here's the very latest....in addition to the biopsy, they will be giving me a shot to "kick-start" my red blood cell production and, if my counts are still low, they will also give me a blood transfusion, so I'll hopefully be feeling much better when I come home tonight.