Looking For A Miracle...

When he learned that Jesus was under Herod's jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who was also in Jerusalem at that time.

When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been wanting to see him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform some miracle. He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer. The chief priests and the teachers of the law were standing there, vehemently accusing him. Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked him. Dressing him in an elegant robe, they sent him back to Pilate.

(Luke 23:7-11, NIV)

Here's a very familiar passage from the greatest story ever told, but what caught my eye today is right in the middle. Did you see why Herod was so excited to finally see Jesus? "He hoped to see him perform a miracle." Herod heard all the stories about Jesus and the amazing things He'd done: water into wine, healing the sick, bring the dead to life. It was pretty incredible stuff, and Herod had been waiting for an audience with this special man.

When Herod met Jesus, though, he was disappointed. Jesus seemed to be a regular man, and nothing special happened. Nothing magical, nothing impossible....just a guy standing there in front of him. Herod was disappointed, and after mocking him, sent him back to Pilate.

When Herod met Jesus, He wasn't what Herod wanted. Herod wanted a magician, a rock star, someone who announces their presence with a BANG! Instead, he got a simple, humble man who, in a few hours, would become the payment for the world's sins.

In our lives, we too often are looking for the miraculous things, waiting for that one amazing moment in time where everything falls into place. Problem is, when we focus on that, we miss the incredible little miracles God places before us each day...

That moment of peace and calm you find in the midst of a chaotic day...
That friend who calls out of the blue when you really need to talk...
That perfectly timed note or hug...
That person who holds you while you cry in their arms...

Theses are the miracles God gives us in the middle of our crises...it's just that too often we overlook them as we search for bigger ones that never come. Be sure to appreciate the smaller things that bless you in your life.

Here's hoping we can each find a little miracle today.

Go Find Your Serve...

But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

(Matthew 22:26-27, NIV)

These are the words of Jesus to the disciples at the Last Supper. They are in response to a debate going on about who was the greatest disciple. Can you imagine that? Jesus knew that in hours He would be beaten and sentenced to death, and these guys were bickering about who was the most important? Jesus knew this, and responded not with a ranking, but with a challenge. Whoever wants to be it the most must become the least. Whoever wants to sit in a place of honor must serve the others.

This confused the disciples. I'm sure most of them thought they had already done plenty to earn their spot in the lineup. They had no idea what lay ahead for each of them. A life of scorn, jail, beatings, and eventually death for nearly all of them...but in that moment, they thought they were on top of the world. "You want more from me? You want me to serve others more?", I can almost hear them say.

Yes, that's exactly what he wants. See, we find time to do what our heart desires. I'll make time to watch a good game. I'll move heaven and earth to put things in place so I can go on vacation. I stop what I'm doing to play with the kids...but do I have that same passion to serve Him?

I hope so. I've been fortunate that a few ministries have captured my heart and fuel my passion. Teaching the 4th and 5th graders has been an absolute blessing for me. I didn't want to do it initially, but gave it a shot, and I've grown to love each and every one of the kids like my own. Compass also is a part of me. Being able to share in the lives of those kids after school fills my heart in ways I never thought possible. Writing is another way I can serve, and this past summer, the Joni and Friends Retreat Camp grabbed my heart and squeezed it. I could go on and on...

Are you as excited about serving God as you are about your other passions? If not, you need to check yourself for one of two things: Either you need to move closer to Him and catch fire again, or you need to find another way to serve. There are many roles that need filled, and at least one of them fits you like a glove. Go and find your perfect fit in His service today.

Twirling...

People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

(Luke 18:15-17, NIV)

I love twirling my little girl.

I'm not sure how it started, or when....but it's been something we've done together ever since she could walk. She loves to hold my hand when we are walking somewhere...to the park, on the way to church, down the sidewalk...she just loves being close to me. (Daddy loves that she loves being close to him, too...)

While we walk, out of the blue with no warning, I lift our hands up over her head and twirl her on point like a little ballerina. I love watching her face when I do this. She begins with a look of surprise as I begin to lift and spin her, then it changes to a smile of unbridled joy as she completes the twirl back to the front again. That smile stays for a while, making me want to just keep twirling her around and around just to see her face.

She finds joy in the small things. She's not so caught up in all the pressures of life. She doesn't worry about finances, jobs, relationships, and all that other stuff...she just knows she is safe and loved and relies on us to take care of her. That's an amazing place to be, don't you think?

I think that's the point Jesus was making in this passage. God knows we tend to get ourselves all wrapped up in the pressures and responsibilities of life, losing focus on Him and drifting away from that relationship. He wants us to have that same child-like faith that He will watch over us, no matter how grim things may seem. He wants us to be close enough to Him to be "twirled", to show us all the incredible things He's made and has for us. To really be close to Him, we have to let go of all the baggage we carry around. That's hard...to relinquish control, at least for me, but when I finally do that, God's been able to do some incredible things in and through me.

Here's hoping you're close enough for Him to "twirl" you today.

A Mother's Love....

I received some heart breaking news today. While reading my friend Jamie's blog, I learned that Annie Jane Damaska had went home to be with Jesus on Tuesday. She was just a little girl, only six months old. They found she had a large brain tumor about a month ago, and there was nothing that could be done. This is so sad in and of itself, but my heart especially breaks for Annie's mom, Sarah (Moneyheffer) Damaska.

Sarah was a freshman at NMC when I first became a senior high youth sponsor. I still remember coming in to the youth center for the first time and being greeted right away by Sarah. Her bright smile and bubbly personality made me feel right at home. In no time,we were fast friends, and I looked forward to talking with her every week.

Sarah is one of the good ones. She was a Godly young woman even at that age, eyes clearly focused on Him. She was involved in student leadership, but her example spoke much more loudly than her position. She had a gift to know who felt left out or was broken, and she sought them out every Wednesday, sharing the overflowing love in her heart that God had given.

She was a born encourager. Everyone that has known Sarah has been the recipient of a call, note, pat on the back, or hug. Her empathetic heart never was empty, and she was a crying shoulder to many that needed her.

Sarah holds a special place in my heart for a single Post-It note. Back in the day, I was going through a difficult divorce. I didn't know what end was up, and every day it was a struggle just to get out of bed. I was broken, tired, emotionally spent, and felt like no one really cared how bad I really was. One day, Sarah stopped by my office after school on her way to volunteer at the church office. Not seeing me there, she took one of my Post-It notes and wrote these simple words:

"Just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you, Rob. Love, Sarah"

That's it...just 13 words. I'm sure she never gave it a second thought as she left. Little did she know I was having one of the worst days of my life, and had very felt so emotionally betrayed and devastated. I had been fighting back tears all day, and when I saw her note, I shut the door to my office and just sobbed. Just to know that someone cared, and was praying for me was exactly what I needed to hear. I couldn't have been more comforted by Jesus himself...who I know prompted Sarah to leave the note.

That little Post-It left my office that night and found a home on my bathroom mirror. Every morning for the next six months, I would read that note over and over again as I got ready, and some days it made all the difference in being able to face all I had to deal with.

Sarah got older and graduated, and I changed churches. She married a pastor and is still involved in youth ministry. Though we fell out of touch, she's always held a special place in my heart. Hearing about Annie last Sunday, it tore me up...and hearing the news that she lost her fight broke my heart. The only upside I can find is knowing how loved Annie felt from the moment she was born until she took her last breath, because that's what Sarah does: she loves unconditionally and without end.

Though we've had a miscarriage, I can't imagine the pain that losing a child must bring. I don't want to. I thought to myself, "What can I do for her? How can I help her or comfort her? What in the world I can do or say to make things any better?"

The truth is, I can't make it better. I can't take away her pain. I can't bring Annie back. All I can do for Sarah is return the gift she gave to me so many years ago. Tomorrow morning, a card will go out in the mail to her home in Michigan. Along with my condolences, there will be a Post-It note with these words:

"Sarah, just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you. Love, Rob"

If you have a chance, please take some time to pray for Sarah, her husband Peter, and her two kids, William and Kate. Pray that God will wrap them up in His mighty arms and carry them through the grief when they can't carry on. Just pray for my friend Sarah....and thanks.

(Tia Bennett and Jamie Moyer have also shared their thoughts and sorrows for Sarah very eloquently, too. If you'd like to let Sarah know you're praying, you can visit Sarah's blog and leave her a note in the comment section.)

Some Great News...

...not for me, but for my friend Derry.

If you don't already follow him on his blog or on Twitter, you should. He's not only an amazingly creative pastor, but a man of God, and great husband and father. His writings have inspired and moved me over the years, and today's is no exception. The story of how God worked on his heart leading him to the big announcement today just blows me away. This guy gets it...and he passes it on.

Click here to join in the celebration and be a part of their prayer team. God's going to do something absolutely amazing in this...

Be Careful What You Pray For...

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.

(I Chronicles 4:10, NIV)

The prayer of Jabez. A little known guy for many years, Jabez sprung into the popular culture a few years ago as the subject of a best selling book by Bruce Wilkinson. On the surface, Jabez asked, and God answered. End of story. But is it always that easy?

I spent alot of time in my younger years thinking that God just didn't answer a bunch of prayers. As I became more mature, I realized that He answered them...just not the way I wanted him to. When we pray, it's too easy to get wrapped up in health concerns and the lives of others, so we forget to pray for ourselves. This is not good...and we need to make praying for ourselves a priority.

Remember, prayer is just a conversation with God. Though He already knows everything, like any good parent He loves to hear it from you. He wants to hear about your joy, your struggle, your pain, and your requests. Jabez prayed specifically for 4 things, and God delivered them...but we don't know how He did, and that's the rub for most of us.

See, it's not always as easy it seemed to be for Jabez.

If we pray for a soft heart, He may need to break it first.
If we pray for strength, He may need to let us get weak enough to reach to him.
If we pray for wisdom, He may need to spend time teaching us first.

I love my kids dearly and want to protect them from everything, but I know, in my life, the best lessons I've ever learned were by going through the pain myself. I don't ever what them to hurt like I have, but I know at some point, they'll have to walk down that road of pain, and learn to rely on His strength, love, acceptance, and forgiveness just like I did. That doesn't mean it won't still hurt me to see my kids in pain...but knowing that they will be better people in the end will help me make it through.

I think God's the same way. His path of answered prayers don't always follow the trail we'd like them to...but it's always the best way to go in the end. With our limited earthly perspectives, we don't see the forest for the trees and think God has left us, when He's really standing close enough to watch over us, His heart breaking as we walk through the valleys, but knowing we'll be more effective for His glory when we emerge on the other side.

So if you don't think God's answering your prayers...try to see what He's trying to teach you in the valley. And be careful what you pray for...because what we want and what He knows we need can be two very different things...but His way is always best.

"The Workers Are Few..."

After this the Lord appointed seventy‑two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

(Luke 10:1-2, NIV)

"The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few."

Truer words have never been spoken. In days gone by, the church was not only the center for worship, but it was the hub of social life, especially in small towns like mine. Prayer meetings bled into ice cream socials, and life was planned around activities at the church.

Times have changed, and we've found so much more to fill out time with. Not only are we not going to church as much, we don't take time to serve because it takes time away from the stuff that's "really important" to us.

That's a shame. If you look back at the first church in Acts, from what I can see, they didn't have a kickin' worship team bringing it from the stage. They didn't have a huge lineup of famous speakers. They didn't even have a nice building to get together in...but they did one thing right: they served each other.

The church in Acts took care of the sick, gave to the poor, shared with the less fortunate, and carried each other when they couldn't carry on. This is what drew people to that church, and then to Christ. People were so amazed by the genuine care, compassion, and service that they wanted to be a part of it. Once inside, they learned about God's love, acceptance, and forgiveness, and became part of his family.

Bringing people to Jesus....that's why I serve.

That's why I study to bring a lesson to the 4th and 5th graders at my church every Wednesday. These kids are growing up with pressures at that age we couldn't have dreamed about. Some come from broken homes, and others just need someone to love on them. I serve so that for that hour and a half, they know they are unconditionally loved and accepted, and that they know that God makes the difference in my life.

Don't get me wrong....it's not always easy. It's been a tough age, traditionally, and not too many people want to serve there...but God's given me a burden and has broken my heart for these young boys and girls, and I can't imagine serving anywhere else.

God's also broken my heart for other areas of service, like The Compass, our after-school program, and the Joni & Friends family retreats. When I serve Him in ministries that touch my heart, I feel fulfilled and blessed in a way I can't describe. To see the smile on some one's face and know that you helped put it there is an amazing thing to see and feel...and you never know when your small act of service could be the final step in some one's journey to Jesus.

You may think you're too busy....or too young...or too old...or not cool enough...or not a great talker, singer, or teacher...you can have all the excuses in the world, but that's all they are. There is a place for you to serve in your local church, regardless of what your skill set is. Find it, plug in, and really starting "being the church" today.

For those of you already serving others, thank you.
For those of you still standing on the sidelines, here's hoping you decide to get in the game today.

A Pink John Deere: A Tribute to the Weldy's....

“No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light."

(Luke 8:16, NIV)

If you're going to be around Nappanee, IN over this weekend, be sure to stop out and see the antique tractor display out by the golf course. You'll see all kinds of tractors of many different colors, but one will stand out above the rest:

A hot pink 1957 John Deere 520 Tractor.

Instead of its familiar green and gold, this tractor has been painted to tell a story, and it's one I'm blessed to know well....

Bob & Juanita Weldy met and married in the same small town they live in today. Bob took up the family farm and they've lived there ever since. If that's all you know of them, that might not seem like much...but these two are also the parents of my best friend, so I know them much better.

John and I became friends after high school, but I spent many hours with his folks. Bob is a hard worker, a man of few words, but has a heart as big as the acreage of his farms. He will give you the shirt off his back, and has a passion to see people reached for Jesus. (He's also good to pull you out of a field when you get his truck stuck playing in the mud...but that's another story for another time.) Juanita's kitchen was always open, and she always wanted to know what we were up to. I remember answering many calls at TU from her just wanting to keep up on her boy. (Man, we used to tease him mercilessly about that...) But that's still not it...

About 20 years ago, John was involved in a horrific accident that should have left him paralyzed for life. John's drive and will get much of the credit, but I saw the care his mom took of him while he was down and learning how to walk again. She had to almost raise him twice, and she did it without complaint or anger. I also remember walking with Bob through the death of Kenny Myers, a valued friend of both of us. Though he's got a somewhat gruff exterior, inside beats the heart of a man who doesn't know how to do anything halfway, including care and love. I gained a whole new respect for Bob during that time.

A few years ago, Juanita's body began to fail her. Breast cancer, trouble with the nerves in her throat, lung issues, and a basic inability to swallow food needed to give her strength. She has fought, but it seems at every turn something else comes up to battle. Just recently, she found she had cancer in her liver and lungs, and her throat stopped working to the point she had to be rushed to the hospital to get a tracheotomy to breathe. You would think this would destroy them...but you'd be wrong.

Walking through this, the Weldy's have been an example of how to deal with adversity. Seeing Juanita at church or out somewhere, she never wants to talk about how she's feeling, she just wants to know how you're doing. Bob has spent many a night in uncomfortable hospital chairs, but is always there right by her side. I'm not surprised about any of this, because I see all of these traits in their son, and I'm so grateful to have him around in my life.

Bob's hobby is restoring antique tractors, and after the latest diagnosis, Bob decided to paint this one pink to honor his wife and her fight against cancer. If you know how much he bleeds John Deere green, you'd know how incredibly fitting and moving this rolling tribute is. With all the hospital time, Bob was hard pressed to finish it, but his many friends in his tractor club surrounded him and finished the project in time for the show this weekend.

Let me put it in a nutshell: We went to see Bob & Juanita in the hospital about a month ago. As we talked, a nurse came in and said "Oh...are these part of your family?" Before I could respond, Bob said "Yes, they are....just not officially." I can't tell you how much I appreciated that, and that I feel the same way.

Thanks, Bob and Juanita, for accepting me into your family like a son. I've always said John's the brother I never had, and you've always made me feel like part of the family. Thanks for raising your children in God's ways so they could become someone who has walked with me through many peaks and valleys. Thanks for your example of unconditional love to each other in the face of suffering and pain. Thanks for "shining your light" for this community to see. I'm so proud to have you both as a part of my life.

So, if you see the pink tractor, take a minute to say a prayer for the Weldy's, and remember to tell those in your life who are special just how much they mean to you.

Passing Judgment....

One of the Pharisees asked him over for a meal. He went to the Pharisee’s house and sat down at the dinner table. Just then a woman of the village, the town harlot, having learned that Jesus was a guest in the home of the Pharisee, came with a bottle of very expensive perfume and stood at his feet, weeping, raining tears on his feet. Letting down her hair, she dried his feet, kissed them, and anointed them with the perfume. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man was the prophet I thought he was, he would have known what kind of woman this is who is falling all over him.”

(Luke 7:36-39, NIV)

Judgment.

We all like to pass it, but we sure hate to receive it.

This story is a great example of how to be like Jesus. The Pharisee, thought to be a Christ Follower, invites Jesus to dinner to been seen with Him. All he's concerned about is following on the coattails of His popularity. I'd even wonder if this whole meal was just a publicity stunt...

The harlot, though, was completely different. She had heard the stories of Jesus, and figured if anyone could save her from this life, it was Him. She gathered all her money together, bought the perfume, and rushed to the dinner.

The Pharisee, so caught up in himself, missed the chance to spend the dinner learning more about the Son of God made flesh, choosing instead to blow his own horn of accomplishments to try to impress Jesus.

The harlot, head down, walked into the room to see Him. She was embarrassed by her life, and silently bent down and wept at his feet. She was broken, felt worthless, and didn't know what else to do.

The Pharisee was appalled. What was she doing here? She's going to ruin the whole day? Why doesn't Jesus stop her? Doesn't he know the mess she is?

And Jesus?....He got it right. He wasn't caught up in the show the Pharisee was trying to put on. He saw right through it. He saw through the harlot, too. He saw her brokenness and open heart, and her desire to be made new. He forgave her sins, blessed her, and sent her on her way to a new life.

Too often, we're like the Pharisee. We see someone different or hurting and we immediately judge them by whatever we see or hear. We don't take the time to get to know them and hear their story...that's too much work. It's so much easier to hash them apart than to heal them heal.

Jesus refused to be a part of that. He's about healing, not hurting. He's about restoration, not exile. He's about reaching out in love, not recoiling in horror. He's about showing love even when walking away seems to be the smartest thing to do.

Here's hoping we are a little more like Jesus today.

In The Cocoon....

My Sunday School class is going through "The Truth Project", a great series by Focus on the Family that helps you to understand and defend your worldview. It's really interesting and well done, and I've enjoyed it so far. During the lesson, they spoke about the Greek word "metamorphoo" and how it was used to describe Jesus at the transfiguration. That was good, but it got me thinking about something else:

Butterflies.

Yep, you heard me, butterflies. We all know that a fuzzy little caterpillar winds his way into a cocoon and comes out as a butterfly...but that's not all there is. I did some research on monarch butterflies, and this is what I found. After achieving adulthood, the caterpillar spins a covering called a chrysalis. It stays inside for ten to twelve days, and finally emerges as a beautiful butterfly. We all know that...but did you know that the average lifespan of a monarch butterfly is only two to five weeks?

Think about it...If you were to extrapolate this to a human life of an average of 70 years, you would have spent more than 25 years in the dark before emerging as something incredible. They also change their appearance completely, adding wings, legs, antennae....you name it, it changes. That's got to be painful.

Me?...it makes me wonder how many caterpillars see all this and just forget the whole thing. Reasons to skip it? Let's see...It's dark, cold, unknown, different, painful...I could go on for hours...but that beautiful butterfly would never happen without the dark time.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in the cocoon.

Sometimes, it's so dark I can't see where I'm going.
Sometimes, it's so small that I feel suffocated by the pressures.
Sometimes, it's so painful to feel those changes going on in my life.

The thing is, the more I read and reflect on God's word, the more I see how important the valleys are to teach us and make us into the men and women He'd like us to be. I think if we didn't have that time in the cocoon, we wouldn't fully appreciate the freedom that comes with the release from the shell.

Maybe you've been in there a very short time. Maybe it feels like you've been there forever. Maybe you just got out, and feel free for the first time in years. Where ever you are, remember, just like I do, that the time spent here in the cocoon will make us that much more beautiful in His eyes when we're finally freed from it.

If this is you, know you're not the only one, and know that He's right there with you, even when it feels so tight that you think nothing could be there...that's when He's the closest. Just reach out to Him.....He's there.

Here's hoping you see something beautiful come out of the darkness today.

"Yes, I Remember..."

My friend Becky, in addition to being a inspiring worship leader at my church, is a great writer. Her posts are thought-provoking, moving, and very often funny. She should be in your bookmarks already, but if she's not, her post today on remembering 9/11 is amazing.

I'm ashamed to say I forgot all about it until I read her post today. I remember that day so clearly and, as Becky so perfectly writes, I remember God showing up, too.

Drop what you're doing and read"Yes, I Remember" right now.

You'll be glad you did.

"How Are You Doing?" - The Latest Update...

People often ask me if I get tired of getting asked that question about my health. My answer is "No", because no matter how many times I have to repeat the story, each time I tell it is because someone has cared enough about me to ask. That's a pretty cool thing when you think about it, right? So, here's the latest....

I shared last week about being approved for transplant, and the beginning of the search for a donor kidney. (If you wish to, you can read that post here.) I must say, it felt a little weird asking people to call a number to give a part of themselves to me, but so many offered, I wanted to give them the opportunity. Still, a part of me just hoped and prayed that at least one person would call in and would be willing and be a match.

O, me of little faith. I got an email from my transplant coordinator that said this: "I don't know how many friends you have, but I think they all called in this past weekend." That encouraged me...then my little sister called in to see if she could do it. She didn't qualify, but the donor coordinator she interviewed with said this: "I can't tell you numbers, but I can tell you all I've been doing for the last two days is returning calls about your brother."

This so humbles me, and makes me cry as I type this post. To know that so many are willing give of themselves, quite literally, so I can be whole again just blows me away. Thank you all so, so much for being willing to give. Even if you don't get called, the fact you were willing is something I can never fully thank you for. They are very confident that they will be able to find a match with those that have called in, but if you still want to do so...feel free. (Hey, it can only increase the odds, right?)

On the lighter side, I'm down to my playing weight my senior year at Taylor. Since I haven't seen that on the scale in 17 years, that's pretty exciting. Dialysis is going pretty well, and I've started exercising again....I'm up to about 4 miles a day.

Thanks for your prayers, support, and encouragement. You don't realize how many people care about you until something like this happens. I am so blessed.

Thanks.

Looking Right, Being Right....

When crowds of people came out for baptism because it was the popular thing to do, John exploded: “Brood of snakes! What do you think you’re doing slithering down here to the river? Do you think a little water on your snakeskins is going to deflect God’s judgment? It’s your life that must change, not your skin."

(Luke 3:7-8a, MSG)

Following the crowd.

We seem to think that peer pressure is a brand new thing in our lifetime, but it's been around forever. Even back in the times of Jesus, it was prevalent. John had started his ministry, teaching and preparing the way for the ministry of Jesus. He became a very popular speaker, and many came from all around to hear him. Some hearts were truly moved and changed, and they accepted God's love, acceptance, and forgiveness and were then baptized as a public proclamation of their faith.

Others, though, didn't want to be left out. They didn't want to make the commitment, but they wanted everyone to think they did, so they went to be baptized, too. They wanted to look "right" on the outside, but were unwilling to make the changes to actually be "right."

John saw this and called them out on it. I love the end of this passage: "It's your life that must change, not your skin!" Too often we focus so much on keeping up a spotless exterior that we neglect getting the inside of our hearts cleaned up. We figure if anyone ever saw the mess that was inside us, they would be so offended they would never speak to us again. The thing is, we all have that mess inside...and being willing to be transparent about it is the only way we'll get it cleaned up. The trap of keeping silent is a major tool of the enemy, because he knows there's freedom when we finally admit we can't do it on our own.

Here's hoping the inside matches the outside today.

Hanging On...

Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

(Luke 2:51-52, NIV)

These are the last two verse of Luke 2, home of the well known "Christmas Story", which I did a series of posts on that you can find here. What I wanted to focus on today, though, was this last part about Mary, the mother of Jesus. It says she looked back on all of this and "treasured" them in her heart. Another translation says she "stored" all in this her heart, while another says she "held these things dearly, deep within herself".

That's the one that hit home to me. Mary had gone through so much to bring Jesus in the world. The visit from the angel, a pregnancy that can't be explained, the shunning, shame, and ridicule, and indignation of being forced to give birth to the Son of God in a barn. If anyone had a right to look back on all this in anger, it was Mary. She didn't ask for any of this....all she did was obey God's lead and she paid a tremendous price for it. No one would blame her if she was angry....

Instead of that, though, Mary chose another path. She chose to let go of that anger, disappointment, and frustration, and instead cling to the great joy she had in being a part of seeing God made flesh to walk among us. She took all these things, the good and the bad, and "held them dearly and deeply within herself" and it brought her a joy only a parent can understand.

Life hits us with alot of things. Some are great memories that make us smile whenever we think of them, but some fill our eyes with tears and break our hearts. We need both to keep us close to God. If we were never broken, we would never reach out to Him in the midst of our struggles. Yesterday, I was reading an advance copy of Randy Alcorn's new book, "If God Is Good". He talks about finding God in the midst of suffering, and this quote has been stuck in my head all day:

"The faith that can’t be shaken is the faith that has been shaken."

As you go through the trials in your life today, hang on to that fact and know that He is right there with you....and just hang on. Some days, that's all we can do...

Thorns...

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

(2 Corinthians 12:7-10, NIV)

Paul can bring it, can't he?

Here's a guy doing amazing things for God. He brought the gospel to the ends of the earth, literally. He spent his whole life after conversion preaching all around the known world at that time, and I'm sure he was a celebrity. Whether you agreed with Paul or not, you knew who he was and when he was coming to your town.

This would give anyone a big head, and Paul knew this. In fact, Paul confirms to the Christians in Corinth that this is something he struggles with daily. He also shares about his "thorn in the flesh", thought to be some sort of physical ailment or disability. It must have hurt him greatly, for he asked God to take it away three times. God would answer that prayer, wouldn't he? Come on, it's Paul for Pete's sake!

Funny thing was, God didn't remove it. As much as Paul wanted to be freed of it, God knew Paul was a better man for the Kingdom to have it there. That's hard to understand... I'll admit I've prayed for God to heal my kidneys so I could get off of dialysis and the transplant list. I know He's heard them, but I think he's telling me that I'll be a more effective witness for Him walking through this time rather than being miraculously healed.

I hope I don't disappoint Him too much, but looking back on my life I've been greatly impacted by watching those around me face incredibly hard situations and handle them with God's grace, love, patience, and strength. The way my grandfather cared for my grandmother while she suffered through Alzheimer's. Many would have given up caring for someone who didn't even remember who they were anymore, but my grandfather cared for her day after day, never complaining, and never losing faith. It blew me away, and made a distinct impact on my life.

So, if you're facing your "thorns" today and no matter how much you ask God to, he doesn't take it away, don't think it's because He doesn't care...He just knows that you could be greater for His glory with it...but it's still your choice in how you handle it.

I Needed To Hear This Today...

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

(2 Corinthians 4:8, NIV)

I needed to hear this today. If you feel like life's turning on you and everything you're facing is overwhelming, and all you want to do is just crawl back in bed, take heart in the fact that you're not the only one who's ever felt this way, and that God will give you the strength, grace, patience, and love you need to make it through this day, and the ones that follow. I may be pressed...but I won't be crushed. I may be confused...but I won't despair. I may be persecuted, but He will never leave me. I may get knocked down...but with His help, I'll get right back up and keep fighting the good fight.

Here's hoping you find Him in the midst of your struggles today.

Looking For A Kidney...

I met with the IU Medical Center Kidney Transplant Team today in Mishawaka, and it looks like we are "GO" for a transplant! All of the testing I did last week came back with positive results, and they are approving me to be a transplant recipient.

They will put me on a list for a kidney, but the average wait for a cadaver kidney is over two years, and the lifespan of that kidney is about 10-20 years. If I can find someone who's willing to donate one to me, a "live" donation can last 30 years or more in most cases of people my age, so that's what we're hoping to do right now. I'm adopted, so finding a blood relative to match with is impossible.

Fortunately, the anti-rejection drugs have come so far that if the donor and I are blood type compatible and cross-match, the transplant can be done. My blood time is A negative, so that means anyone with A positive, A negative, O positive, or O negative is a possibility. Also, you must be at least 18 and no older than 60. You must also be relatively healthy with no pre-existing issues like hypertension, diabetes, and other conditions.

If that's you and you're interesting in finding out if you would be a match, please call Tracy Perry at IU Med Center at 1-800-382-4602. Tracy will pre-screen you over the phone, and if you qualify after that, she'll send you information and an order for blood testing. (Any costs will be billed to my insurance, not yours.) After that, if you are a good match, you will be contacted and talked through the process and you can decide whether or not you wish to proceed. I will not be notified unless you are a match, AND you have agreed to go forward in the process, so don't feel bad if you start the process and then pull out...because I'll never know.

I'm posting this because many have asked me how they could be tested to see if they are a match. Please don't feel pressured to do this...if God wants me to find a match, it will happen in His time. If you have any questions, please post them in comments, email me, or call me and I will answer them as best I can. Just because you call and even get tested doesn't mean you have to do it. Thanks in advance to those who will make the call...I really appreciate it...but even if you don't or can't, I'll keep taking all the prayers I can get.

Thanks.

"Home Is Where The Hoop Is"

Chris Broussard has a great article this week in ESPN magazine. (It's the issue with Peyton Manning and Jeff Saturday on the cover...go Colts!) His piece details the life of Rob Thomas, a forward for the University of St. John's. Seeing what Rob came from, the obstacles he had to overcome, and the people along the way that loved and invested in him because that cared about him, not about the fact that he could play. I think many faced with the odds stacked against him would have quit, but his story is really inspirational. I am rooting for him to do well this season (except when they play my Irish), but he's already a big success in my book.

Click here to read "Home Is Where The Hoop Is".

In The Midst of Trials, Hope...

In the midst of great trials, while being exiled from his home, during the pain of losing everything he held dear, the author of Lamentations still found hope in God:

Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.

(Lamentations 3:21-26, NIV)

For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.

(Lamentations 3:31-33, NIV)

I called on your name, O Lord,
from the depths of the pit.

You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears
to my cry for relief.”

You came near when I called you,
and you said, “Do not fear.”

O Lord, you took up my case;
you redeemed my life.

(Lamentations 3:55-58, NIV)


Webster's dictionary defines hope as "to expect with confidence". I like that, because no matter what kind of pain and situation we find ourselves in, we can "expect with confidence" that God will meet us there and help carry us when we can't carry on. He's the one thing you can count on when it seems like everything else is falling apart. He's our rock, and the safe port in the storms of life. He offers us a hope beyond our comprehension...but far too often we decline that gift to wallow in our sorrows instead.

Here's hoping you can find your hope in Him today.

Pouring Out Your Heart...

Arise, cry out in the night,
as the watches of the night begin;
pour out your heart like water
in the presence of the Lord.
Lift up your hands to him
for the lives of your children,
who faint from hunger
at the head of every street.

(Lamentations 2:19, NIV)

The book of Lamentations is just what it sounds like: a book of laments, or sorrow and grief over the desolation of Judah and the destruction of Israel. Jeremiah is thought to be the author of this book, but we really don't know for sure. What we do know is that this author's heart was breaking for the people of his country. His sadness is apparent in each verse. He remembers the way his country used to be, and it's tearing him up to see the state it's in today.

I love the phrase "pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord". That's exactly what he was doing throughout this whole book. He was sharing with God how much it hurt to see his people in pain and taken away from home.

I think this is an important, and often overlooked part of our "quiet time" with God. Too often we fill it with requests and praises, both of which are good in themselves...but when you've had an awful day, doesn't it feel better to talk about it with someone that loves you at the end of the day? Isn't it nice to know that you have someone who will listen as you share your heartbreak? Going through the valleys with someone can draw you both closer to each other than you've ever imagined. Why, then, do we think it would be any different with God? He wants that same relationship with us, and wants to be the one we share everything with, both the good and the bad, because that will draw us closer to Him, and that's where He wants us to be anyway.

Let's stop making our prayers a speech and start making it a heartfelt, transparent talk between best friends today.