Homestretch...

I need to apologize for the lack of posts these last few weeks...it's really getting down to the wire, and I've got lots to do before I leave to go to Indy for my transplant. I promise I'll blog more about all of this as it gets closer...but don't expect much from me her until at least Sunday night or Monday.

That is all.

Bracketology Challenge: We Stink So Bad, We Have A Winner...

In the 5 years of this Challenge, I've never seen this before: All the brackets are so busted, that only one of us has a single team in the Final Four, and the final standings are all locked in already. VCU and Butler busted alot of brackets, and out of the 5.9 million brackets submitted on ESPN.com, only 2 (yes, I said TWO) people had entered the four teams that will be playing for the title, so don't feel too bad. Without further ado, here's the final standings:

The Champ: Jayme Adelsperger, loyal Butler alum and so happy to see her 'Dogs back in the Final Four again. Jayme had 38 correct picks for a final score of 190. Nicely done, Jayme...hope to see you back next year to defend your title!

2nd place goes to Gary Slabaugh with 37 correct and 188 points, while 3rd place fell to last week's leader, Nicole Owens with 36 and 182. Dennis Owens and Joe Bennett took 4th and 5th respectively.

The one with one team left in it? Me.
The one in last place with no hope of advancing out of it? Me.

*sigh* maybe next year...

To all those that played...thanks so much for joining in on the fun...and I'm rooting for the winner of Butler/VCU!

It's Not Yours...

Then God said,

"You've been going around in circles in these hills long enough; go north. Command the people, You're about to cut through the land belonging to your relatives, the People of Esau who settled in Seir. They are terrified of you, but restrain yourselves. Don't try and start a fight. I am not giving you so much as a square inch of their land. I've already given all the hill country of Seir to Esau-he owns it all."

Deuteronomy 2:2-5, MSG)

This passage is just what I needed today.

At this point, Moses and the people of Israel had been wandering for years and years. They were getting close to the Promised Land...but not quite there yet. I'm sure the people were getting restless, and tempers were high and patience was low. Some probably looked around and thought "This looks pretty good here. Let's clear out the current residents and stay in this place. I know it's not the place God wanted for us...but it'll be good enough for me."

God knew the hearts of the Israelites, and he instructed Moses not once, but three different times in this chapter to not pick a fight with the people in the land they were crossing through. He told Moses that this was not their land, but land He had given to other people. God knew that the people were tired, worn out, depressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed...but He knew that He had it under control and that He had something better for them in the end.

Over and over again in this passage I heard God saying to the Israelites this phrase:

"It's not yours."

This resonates with me because just a few weeks ago Walt Wiley from "Winning With Encouragement" spent a few days with NMC, my home church. He did a series of talks on stewardship...not just of finances, but of our whole lives. The point he kept coming back to was this: "It's not yours...it's His." God knows this is something we all struggle with...and He's been teaching us about it for thousands of years.

You see, heading into my transplant two weeks from today, it's easy to get overwhelmed with all I need to do before it happens, and trying to prepare others for the time when I'll be gone and off in my recovery. Sometimes I look ahead and see all that needs to be done, and I'm tempted to just lash out at someone in frustration, or to just give up and assume it'll all be in shambles.

Full disclosure: I think I'm the only one who can do something right. It's a pride issue, and I'm working on it...but when I have a project or something that needs done, I won't ask for help, because I think no one can do it as well as me. In this time that I've been sick, it's been a real struggle to allow others to come alongside of me and help me with tasks I just can't do anymore physically. I'll help anyone who needs it...but allowing myself to be helped? It makes me feel weak and worthless. I've found out more recently that those feeling are an attack from the enemy to isolate me not only from the all-powerful God who can do anything, but from others He's placed in my life to help me through those times and to teach me lessons from Him.

Over and over, God seems to be finding ways to tell me this:

"It's not yours, Rob....it's Mine. You can keep pounding your head against the wall, or fighting when I've asked you to just walk on by...and I'll still love you no matter what....but it's not yours...and though you can't see it right now, I have it under control and things are going to be just fine in My hands."

Now, this doesn't absolve me from doing anything and just saying "God will do it all...I'll just sit back and watch." But what it does do is this: It tells me that I don't have to worry about it. I'll do what I can in the time that I can...and I'll leave the rest in His hands and the hands of those who will do a fine job with it. This world doesn't need me to keep spinning...and I need to remember that.

My friend Monte sent me an email today with a little snippet from Dr. David Jeremiah that I thought went well with this:

There are plenty of good reasons to be anxious, depressed, and sleepless in today's world. But Christians have promises from God that should alleviate all three symptoms--promises that God rules over all the earth and knows the beginning from the end of history. Our task is to do what the psalmist David did: He didn't worry about "great matters" or things "too profound" for him. Instead, he "calmed and quieted" his soul like a "weaned child" at rest in its mother's lap--peaceful and quiet (Psalm 131:1-2).

God's job is to guide the world. Your job is to "be anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6), to rest in the Father's promises.

Again, I hear from Him this phrase:

"It's not yours."

It's not mine...and I'm glad it's in better, bigger, and stronger hands.

Here's hoping I can remember in the midst of all the chaos that it's not mine today.

Bracketology Challenge Results: Ladies Rule!

Well, the first weekend is in the books...and my bracket is busted. Not only that, but my beloved Irish fell to the Seminoles last night, leading to the jersey-poppin' you see above. Not only that, the top two in the challenge after the first week are.....(pause for dramatic effect) GIRLS!

Yep, leading the way is Nicole Owens with 173 points and 34 correct picks. She still has 3 of her 4 Final Four teams, losing only Pittsburgh in the first weekend. Nice job, Nic...and soooooooo glad you are ahead of that chirpy husband of yours.

In 2nd place is Jayme Adelsperger, a friend from around Indy, and a Butler fan and alum who did pick the 'Dogs to upset Pitt. She's got 170 points and has 34 correct as well...but sadly, her Hoosier roots ran too deep, as she had picked Purdue to reach the finals. That one's gonna hurt ya, Jayme.

Tied for third are Denny Owens and Steve Birk with 168 points. Steve has 33 correct, while Denny has 32. Denny's prospects look better long term with 3 of his Final Four still in, while Steve has only Duke still alive.

And bringing the hind end? As much as I'd like to say it's Todd Owens....it's me...and it's not even close. My Southeast bracket has no teams remaining, and I only got 6 of the sweet 16 correct. Oddly, I do have 3 of my Final Four still in play, so I may be able to make a move...time will tell.

I'm not even sure who I've got left to root for outside my bracket picks...probably gotta root for Butler to make it again...to all that picked, thanks for playing and looking forward to seeing what happens this weekend!

How To Help Those Who Are Hurting...

I've been a fan of Anne Jackson for quite a while now. Her way of sharing her heart, her struggles, and her passions have touched and moved me deeply at times. Her book, "Permission To Speak Freely", was a revelation about what the church should be, and to not be so concerned about people's perception, but about people's hearts and lives, no matter how messy they are.

Anne wrote a post today entitled "Advice For Helping People Going Through A Divorce". Anne could write this honestly, as she has just gone through her own...but it's a great reminder to all of us how to best minister to people not just going through a divorce, but through emotional traumas of any sort, be it death of a loved one, martial issues, or just depression about circumstances. Having gone through a divorce of my own and other times of being completely overwhelmed by my life, I can echo her advice, and am challenged by it to step out of my comfort zone and to be there, truly be there, for someone who needs it. Whether or not you know someone who's in need now, you need to read and remember Anne's post. Click here to read it.

Refuge...

Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

(Psalms 62:1-2, 7-8, NIV)

Love, love, LOVE this Psalm....

I don't know for sure...but I'm guessing when David wrote this, things weren't going so well. This isn't the type of prayer or letter you write when everything is perfect and you have no problems or worries. If you read between the lines, I'd imagine that this Psalm was written from the depths of despair...that all seemed to be against David...and that he didn't see any way out on his own.

Why do I think that? Because of the words he used over and over again in this chapter. He starts with the words "finding rest". When I read that, I think of the times when my children were little and just worn out and overtired. They became cranky, and nothing seemed to make them happy. I found that if I just picked them up and held them tightly to me, they would finally relax and go to sleep. Sometimes, they came willingly...and sometimes they kicked and screamed...but eventually, they ended up resting peacefully, which was just what they needed, even though they didn't know it. I think God does that to me sometimes. I think He knows when I'm overwhelmed with things, and gives me opportunities just to be still, rest, and unpack my thoughts and emotions. In this busy, crazy world, I think we underestimate the need for solace...but we all need it desperately.

Then David talks about God being a "rock" and a "fortress". I love the pictures that conjures in my mind. I love the strength and stability it projects. When my life is going great, its easy for me to assume that all is well because of what I'm doing...but when it all falls apart, like a child, I come running back to my Father to save me. I know, down deep, He's been there all along...and I just was too proud to admit that I needed Him until I was in trouble. We all want to feel protected and defended. God, our rock and our fortress, has always been on that job...and that gives me a sense of peace and comfort.

Finally, he uses my favorite word: "refuge". Webster's defines refuge as this:

1: shelter or protection from danger or distress
2: a place that provides shelter or protection

This goes along with defender and protector that I talked about earlier...but at a whole new level. Look at this word origin that I found:

A refuge is etymologically a place one ‘flees’ to in order to get away from danger. The word comes via Old French refuge from Latin refugium, a derivative of refugere. This was a compound verb formed from the prefix re- ‘away’ and fugere ‘flee’ (source of English fugitive (14th c.) and fugue (16th c.)).

A refugee is one who is fleeing away from a dangerous situation. It's typically something or someone out to do them harm, and they are no longer safe where they are at. They must leave the comforts of their homes and escape to somewhere where they will be welcomed, protected, and able to just live freely again. That place of rest and relief is called a refuge.

In the midst of some very taxing days lately, both emotionally and physically, I've held tightly to this chapter and these words. Months ago, my wife wrote them out and hung them on my office wall by this computer. Little does she know, that it's been a daily encouragement to me, especially in these hard times. No matter what goes on in my life, I know that I have God in my corner.

He will never leave me or forsake me.

He is where I find rest.

He is my rock and fortress.

He is my refuge, my safe place in the midst of the storms of life.

Encouraged...

Some people have wondered why I'm not more excited about my transplant when they hear about about. The honest truth is this: I'm very excited...but also scared to death something it going to happen that will mess it up or allow it not to happen. I think I get it honestly...but it shows a real lack of faith on my part. Over the last week or so, as I look back, I see many signs of encouragement evem with my faithlessness...

Last Friday I had lunch with a great friend, and met Saturday morning with another one...both took the time to tell me just how fortunate I am, and to help dissuade my fears and encourage me to trust in Him. Yesterday, I received a note from Rachel with some great tips on life down at the hospital I'm going to be at. Rachel is the mom of Maggie, a beautiful little gal that's fought cancer that we've prayed lots for on this blog. In addition to the tips, Rachel gave me the link to a post she had written about faith in the midst of health trials. It was just want I needed to hear...and you can be encouraged and read it as well. Click here...it's some amazing perspective.

Even this morning, I clicked over to the blog of my donor and was encouraged by the story a young boy and my son praying weekly for her and I. I know he's only 11...but so proud of his tender heart and his desire to live in God's will.

It's easy to get discouraged and defeated by all the "stuff" that surrounds us...but God is still God, and He keeps encouraging me to keep the faith and remember that He's in control. He always has been...sometimes, I just get too busy and wrapped up in myself to see His hand. I'm thankful God knows I'm so thick-headed...and that He provides people like I've shared about to be His hands and feet to this doubting Thomas.

So, stepping out as I've been encouraged and in faith, I've added a countdown clock to this blog. Part of me felt like I would be "jinxing" myself...but I'm tired of always planning for the worst while hoping for the best. I'm going to plan for the best...and God will still be God even if something happens. I want to encourage others through this journey. When you see it, I hope you're encouraged to pray for Shelley and I, and I hope I'm encouraged to remember that it's in God's hands, and He's taken great care of me so far.

Here's hoping we not only look hard to see where we've been encouraged today, but that we step out in faith and provide that encouragement for someone else who desperately needs it.

5th Annual Bracketology Challenge...

(here's a tip for you: ND to the final four.....shhhhhhh....don't tell.)

Yes, it's that time again, and again I will lay down the gauntlet to anyone who reads this drivel to come and join us in the 5th annual Rob's Random Ramblings Bracketology Challenge! It's free, and there are no prizes, other than the chance to gloat over all that have entered. If you're interested in joining in on the fun, here's how you do it:

Click here to be taken to the league's home page where you can enter. (You will need a CBSSports.com account...which is free and only takes a minute...) The password for the group is "irish" (don't use the quotes) and from there you can make your picks. I will update her on this blog and Facebook after each round and you can see how well or poorly you are faring.

Hoping defending champ Scott Tuttle comes back to defend his title... and looking forward to pounding you all into the ground this year....it's gotta be my time, right........right?!?

To those of you that played last year, you should've gotten an email invite from the league, and to those of you that are new, welcome....now, let's get it on!

Go Read These......NOW.

Just when I think my stuff is approaching a level slightly above drivel, I'm reminded of a few who truly have to gift to write. If you aren't already following these two, shame on you. Click the links below and read what they have to share with you. It'll move you, make you stop and think, and challenge you.

Maggie wrote another excellent post this morning titled "When You're Afraid To Be Real". Her honesty, humility, and transparency still blows me away. Maggie, you're amazing.

Nic has a wonderful blog with ton of followers in her own right...but today she wrote a guest post for a friend's blog on how she teaches her four little ones about God and His grace. Her thoughtful and thought-provoking answer is here.

Go read these....NOW.

I'm serious.

Go.

(*tapping my foot waiting impatiently*)

Maggie and Nic, thanks for sharing your lives and what God's teaching you with me. Iron sharpens iron...and you both sharpen me.

The Wait Is Almost Over...

So, here's the long promised update on my and my health situation...

When I last updated, we were on prospective donor #3. That person didn't end up passing all the tests need to donate, so we went on to #4....and #5....and #6. #6 was a friend that had been telling ever since she signed up on the list, before anyone started through the process, that God was telling her she would be the one. I nodded and smiled at her when she said that, then rolled my eyes as she walked away. Sure, God told her it would be her...and after I found out that she was five people down the list, I was sure she just had some bad pizza that night and had a crazy dream.

Lo and behold, she was right. She was my match, and this past Wednesday I got the call from IU Med Center that my transplant surgery is scheduled for April 6th. After a year and a half of waiting, ups and downs, and everything else, this part of my journey will come to an end. Though I'm still a little worried something bad may happen before that date that would scrub the surgery, God's giving me all kinds of signs He's in control here...most of all, what He told my donor. He told her that it would be her...and she told me. I didn't believe her or Him...and now, I'm sure God's up there going, "See...didn't I tell you? I've got this under control...trust Me!"

So, it's less than a month away...we've already been planning and starting to get things in line for our time away, and have been overwhelmed by those close to us offering to help in any way they can. We are excited, and so ready to end all the time away at dialysis. (11 more, but who's counting?)

I'm so thankful for all the people who have been willing to be tested for donation, and those that signed up that were never gotten to...your willingness to do so blows me away. I'm humbled by how many were willing...and thanks just isn't enough.

To my donor : Thanks for going through all of this...all the testing, waiting, exams, and other stuff. It's been quite a journey, and I don't take lightly what you're going to do. I know God told you it would be you...but it was still your choice to listen and obey. You are literally giving of yourself to give me a renewed life, a living example of Christ giving Himself to give us life. I, and my family, are grateful beyond words. Thank you.

I'll try to blog through the process as much as I can, and if she's willing, I'll let you follow her journey as well. We both covet your prayers as we count down to the big day. Pray for continued health for both of us as we prepare for this, and for us both to be the salt and light to those we come into contact with through this journey.

"A Low Grade Fever Of Sadness"...

Tia Bennett is someone I've been following for quite a while. This past fall, my wife and Tia were connected by a mutual friend to spend an afternoon together talking about how to walk through a specific time in our lives. Tia had already made this journey, and was God-sent and important to my wife in her insight and encouragement. For that alone, I'm thankful to call her and Joe friends...but she also writes from the heart...and today, she reminded me not to be blind to all that surrounds me, but to look at it through the eyes of Christ. To read the post "A Low Grade Fever Of Sadness", click here. I hope it breaks your heart the way it broke mine.

Thanks, Tia...for everything.

Fanning The Flame...

The last few days have been just what I needed.

This week brought an event called "Fanning The Flame" at our church, Nappanee Missionary Church. Since we've only been attending for around 9 months, this was our first experience with this time of spiritual renewal. They bring in special speakers and worship leaders from all over and have special times each night to hear them teach from God's Word. It's been a pretty special thing to see...

First of all, understand that I treasure my time at home. I don't like to have things planned every night. I like to spend time with my wife and my kids, just us. There's nothing wrong with that...and when I saw that this was a four night in a row commitment, I initially sighed and tried to think of reasons why we couldn't go. We would be busy at work...I have dialysis treatments...kids need to get to bed early...we need family time. All valid concerns, but none more important than spending time in His house learning more about Him, so we committed as a family to attend all of the services.

Let me say we are SO glad we did. Not only have my wife and I gotten so much knowledge and useful things from the teaching of Walt Wiley and the impactful worship leading of David Cummings, it's been a pleasure to see my kids just as excited about church. My son is with the preteens and Jon McCallon has made worship and prayer come alive to him in a whole new way, and is challenging and stretching his young mind. My little girl has the pleasure of spending that time with Rob Biagi, a gifted writer and performer of children's worship. She can't wait to tell us all about what she sang and learned in her classes after each session.

Here's what blew me away...on the way home after the Sunday night sessions, my kids were in the back of the van talking to each other...and all they could talk about is how excited they were to go back to church tomorrow...and wondered when the next time would be that our church would do this again. I don't know about you...but to hear my kids ask me when the next time is they can attend MORE church services is pretty cool.

We've been attending NMC for about 9 months now...and it's been a blessing straight from God. It's so refreshing to be in a church so on fire for God, and to walk out of services on Sunday feeling recharged, renewed, and ready to face the week ahead. It's much bigger than our old church...but so many have done such a great job of making us feel at home and loved. Several pastors on staff have reached out to us personally and counseled us through some really hard times in our life. God led us to NMC just when we needed it the most, before we even knew we would need it. I'm so thankful to be a part of this body...and proud to share it with anyone I know. Thanks, NMC, for truly being the church, not just a gathering.

So, to echo my first line...this has been just what I needed, and I'm a little sad it ends tonight...but so thankful to be a part of it.

A Tease....and 10 Random Things...

Hopefully, coming this week...an update on my health and status of my journey to a kidney transplant. Just a few things to get in line, and then I should hopefully have plenty to share. I looked back and saw that I hadn't updated my journey since May of last year...and that was about donor #3. I'm on Donor #6 now. (Miss a day, miss a lot...) I'm hoping to have the answers I need by the middle of this week, so if you're curious, stay tuned...

On to the randomness:

1. I'm finding NASCAR less and less intriguing. Not sure if I've just overloaded on it in past years, but watching hundreds of left turns has ceased to amaze me anymore. I was flipping between that and the Bulls-Heat game...and the NBA won. If you know me at all...that's not a good sign for NASCAR. (BTW, did you see D-Rose smoke both Wade and LeBron on a fast break?! It was suh-weet.)

2. I think ND could win it all this year. Now, most years, that's the homer in me saying this...but I think they are peaking at the right time. They've gotten big wins both at home and on the road, and with starting 5 seniors, they've got a group with not only experience, but the drive and desire to do whatever it takes to win. The have 5 starters that can hit from anywhere, and Ben Hansborough is making a case for Player of the Year. I went to the Villanova game on Monday, and they hit 20 threes!! I don't think they'll be worse than a 2 seed, and if the win the Big East tourney, they have a great shot at a #1. So when you fill out those brackets, don't forget the Irish!

3. I miss pototoes. They are one of the things I can't have with my kidney failure. If and when I get a transplant, potatoes are high on my list of first-meal foods. Yep, I'm easy to please.

4. My wife's pretty cool. We've been married 14 years, and I love her more today than I did then. Love spending time with her...

5. My daughter is frighteningly like me. Last week, we were doing devotions and she jumped up off her bed and ran to her bookcase, right by a little nativity scene. I asked her what she was doing...and she said she had to toot. Impressed that she thought enough to go away from me to do it, I was about to compliment her...when she made a face and said "Whew...that smells so bad I think it melted Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus!" Yep, that's my girl.....sigh.

6. Can't believe 2 of my favorite series, "Greek" and "Friday Night Lights" are having series finales this spring, while tons of drivel and less worthy shows are renewed. Not sure if I want to live in a world where FNL gets cancelled, and Charlie Sheen is still working...

7. My fantasy baseball draft is sometime this month...and I haven't even begun to prep for it. That's not a good sign...

8. I've been hooked lately on any kind of match-3 game I can download for free on my IPad....I mean borderline addicted. Upside: dialysis treatmetns have never gone by so quickly.

9. It's been a long time in this most recent valley of life I've been walking through. I've learned alot about myself, my relationships, and God...but I'm not gonna lie...I'm ready to see the sun again.

10. My favorite candies right now are Tiny SweetTarts, Sugar Babies, and Reese's Pieces. How's that for random?!

Finally, realized that if you read this whole post, that's about 2-5 minutes of your life you will never get back....sorry!

Fight Night....

A much beloved tradition started about 25 years ago this weekend...

Mark, one of my best friends in high school, invited me to go along with him to an event at Notre Dame called "Bengal Bouts". I'd never heard of it...but was always game for a night out as a teenager, so I went. We drove up to the Stefan Center, a small dome-shaped arena, to find rickety bleachers set up surrounding a boxing ring. I came to find out from Mark's brother, who was attending ND at the time, that the college had a boxing club, and this was the finals of a tournament that they have trained all year for. I also found out that the event got its name because all the proceeds went to fund schools, churches, and health care facilities in Bangladesh. That was a cool deal in itself...but once that bell rang, I was hooked. Though only three rounds long, the fights were exciting and fast-paced, and the crowd of students gave it a title-fight-like atmosphere. I had a ball, and couldn't wait for the next year to come. Over the years, I think I've only missed 2 or 3 finals...and even got to meet and shake Muhammed Ali's hand at one of them.

Over the years, as the popularity grew, the moved from the Center to the main floor of the Joyce ACC, now known as Purcell Pavillion. Some years, it's just me and a friend or two...and some years we've had a group of almost 40 there. We make it fun by printing out a fight card and making picks to win a T-shirt. It's just a fun night of just being guys, watching other guys punch each other, and cheering and laughing. (No, I don't expect you gals to understand...) I brought my son last year, and he had a ball. It's nice to share my love and tradition with him, and make a tradition we can do together.

The finals are tonight...and I can't wait to hear that bell.

Don't underestimate the value and power of traditions you can share with friends and family. Some of my greatest memories as a child were special times and events with my family and friends. Here's hoping you've got something to look forward to this weekend as well.

His Time...Not Mine...

Get up, God! Are you going to sleep all day?
Wake up! Don’t you care what happens to us?

Why do you bury your face in the pillow?
Why pretend things are just fine with us?

And here we are—flat on our faces in the dirt,
held down with a boot on our necks.

Get up and come to our rescue.
If you love us so much, Help us!

(Psalms 44:23-26, MSG)

Not quite what you expected from Psalms?
Not quite what I expected either...but it's messing with me.

This isn't a psalmist playing a harp extolling the magnificent attributes of God's love and provision....this is a guy in the thick of the worst time of his life, feeling like he's all alone, and the walls are closing in on him. The enemy is pounding at the door, and in a matter of moments, he will be overcome.

Ever been there? I have...and it stinks. It's depressing. It's draining. It's hard to keep smiling. With my health and all the other stuff that's gone on over these past few years, there's been more than once where I've cried out similar prayers as were written here. Mine were more like this:

Where are you, God?

Why are you putting me through this?

If you say you won't give me more than I can handle, you better stop, because my cup's overflowing...and I don't want a bigger one.

I know you can step in and fix all this...so why don't you do it?

I want to trust and have faith in you...but sometimes, you're really hard to see.

I don't understand at all the path you're leading me down...and I want to take back control of things because I'm scared of where you're going.

And in those worst of times, even this:

If you really, truly loved me, God...you wouldn't let this happen to me.

As I was reading this, I thought of my love for film. I'm a sucker for a great action flick. Typically, at some point, someone is in deep peril, and you are sure there's no way out of the mess they're in, and all of the sudden the hero kicks down the door and saves the day. No matter how far fetched the scenario seems to be, you always know that good will win over evil every time.

It's really the same with God. He's actually already won...all we have to do is claim His victory. When I have thoughts blaming God for the situation I'm in, I now look back at it and see most of it was made of my own bad choices and decisions...and the rest by bad choices and decisions of others. God's never left my side...I've left His...and I've paid the price for it.

Even when I feel like the psalmist, that the end is near and I can't take anymore, it's comforting to know and remember that it's in His hands, and His way is always better than mine, no matter what it looks like at the time. As I read through the Bible again this year, I'm reminded time after time of so many people who didn't see His hand and His plan, but followed Him anyway. From the stories of the Old Testament, to the Gospels of the New, it seems every day I'm reminded that God, like my movie heroes, always shows up at just the right time to save the day.

What I need to remember is that the right time for Him may be hours, days, weeks, months, or even years for me. I need to be patient, and I need to continue to follow His lead no matter what. Somedays, that's not too hard...and somedays, it's overwhelming. I need to remember that Moses wouldn't have been Moses without his fall from grace....that David wouldn't have been David without Saul...that Jacob wouldn't have been Jacob without Esau...and Peter wouldn't have been Peter without the denial. We are who we are...and the most important lessons of character that I've learned in life have been through adversity.

Perspective is a very important thing. No matter what we are going through, somebody's probably been through worse, and has come out the other side a better person for it. As I've been rebuilding myself over the last months, I've often wondered if God will have any use for me again. He reminds me time and time again that to be a man He, my wife, and my children can be proud of is enough, and a very worthy cause and goal indeed. As long as I find my worth in Him, He will take care of the rest.

You know what? Letting go of all that worry, stress, fear, anxiety, anger, bitterness, and confusion and giving it all to Him is really hard to do...but really freeing when you do it. God is God, and I am not...and I shouldn't try to be.

So, here's hoping that when life has got you tied up in an abandoned warehouse with dynamite all around and you feel you only have a few moments left, remember our Hero will be there in time...and it'll be in His Time, not yours.

Actually, here's hoping I remember that today.